I have something horrific to share with Americans. As you read, you may want to locate your smelling salts and fainting couch. Have strong coffee, and for the rowdy types, a sniffer of brandy ready. Steel your spines, have courage and grip your Lazy Boy arms tightly. Here it comes: Men say raunchy things about women when we are not around to hear them.

This news changes American culture as we know it. The millions of dollars spent monthly on pornography, complete with mobile phone apps for sites like Lesbian Lick Out, thousands of strip clubs, the topless car washes -- these were outliers. No one had any idea, in our vast, silly country, that men want to have sex with women, usually hot ones, even if they are married.

The same groups of clowns who wring their hands over any boundaries or limitations on the sacred cow of sexuality are now shaking with puritanical rage at Trump and his garden-variety comments about women and an extramarital affair.

This is the country that intentionally bankrupted and ruined the life of a baker because she declined to bake a cake for a lesbian marriage. We make taxpayers pay for prison inmates to change their penises into vaginas so they don’t have gender confusion. We elevate and pay millions to monstrosities like Nicki Minaj, who was allowed on conservative Fox television as an “American Idol” judge, with songs like “Freaky Girl”, whose tamest line is: “coochie overflowin’ like somebody let the faucet run.”

And yet, because Trump made some stupid comments, about on the level of debauchery as Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales, the entrenched power elites and their prostitutes, the Mainstream Media, are crucifying him as if he had proclaimed a love of pederasty with preschoolers.

In the last five decades, no one person has made the 1% as nervous and enraged as Trump does. Trump is part of the 1% himself. Why does he make them so insane?

This convenient hysterical feminization of American politics serves one purpose: to make sure Hillary Rodham Clinton wins the election. Pay close attention to how the entrenched power players have her back. Why is that?

Because she will never afflict their sumptuous sweetheart deals with the corporate thugs that run America. She is one of their own. Their private jet lifestyles and cozy lobster lunches with hedge fund billionaires in the Hamptons would continue. Big Pharma and Insurance know that the package deal that is the Clintons will never shock them. Trump might. And that is exactly what America needs.

We don’t want to marry Donald Trump. We are not asking him to attend a Southern Baptist Marriage Seminar with us to take purity vows. We need someone in the White House who can go nose to nose with some real head knockers: Putin, Erdogan, Rouhani.

So, Trump cheated on his wife and made frat boy comments as a private citizen. Clinton is married to man that used interns for oral sex while he was president of the United States. He then fed these women to the hyenas. Hillary Clinton smirked as these women faced federal prosecution and had to go into hiding. Hillary Clinton is a chump.

Clinton cares about one issue, and that is the advancement of her family’s power and wealth. No one truly knows what she believes.

We are not asking Trump to join our knitting circle. We need him to firmly take the reins of a wagon that is careening off into crazy town.

If our country goes to seed, and roving armies of ISIS terrorists were slitting throats in the public squares, who would we want in the captain’s chair?

I believe that Trump’s ego and alpha male bravado would cause him to rise up and fight like a crazed wolverine against anyone who had the balls to insult him during his watch over America.