The U.S. is still alive

By Tim Mostert

With all the shocking and surprising levels of stealing being exposed in our hapless government, it reminds me of a story an accountant told me. There’s a letter sent out to clients annually that is referred to as the ‘are you still alive?’ letter. The recipient needs to prove that he is still on this mortal coil in order to continue to receive government benefits. It’s a form that requires a physical thumbprint. A very good two-step security system, that is almost impossible to fake.

Almost.

One innovative family, whose welfare recipient had passed away many years before, had removed one of granny’s thumbs and stored it in a jar of formaldehyde. When the annual ‘are you still alive?’ letter was received, they would take the thumb out of the jar, shake off the excess embalming fluid, and use it to stamp the fingerprint in the appropriate box, thereby ensuring an additional 12 months of welfare benefits.

Eventually they were caught, presumably because granny would now be 133 years old.

When the dastardly Elon Musk spoke of 150-year-old welfare recipients, it was clear that gaming the system is something of a national pastime. Seeing the rot exposed is startling for those of us who would never think of being so dishonest, but terrifying for those who are the guilty, thieving parties.

From what we’re learning every day, it appears the U.S. government has been employing thousands of larcenous, light-fingered kleptomaniacs. They aren’t interested in exposing the fraud of the cheaters who are faking thumbprints on forms, because that might lead to their much bigger con being revealed. As the level of dishonesty is exposed up the food chain, the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth will become increasingly shrill. Stealing in the shadows requires a level of creativity that leaves a trail that can be followed, and usually leads to tears. As we see the Maxine Waters and Elizabeth Warrens of the world screaming bloody murder, it’s clear a tidal wave is coming. A tidal wave of the tears, cries, and moans of the shameless and bitter guilty parties.

Tim Mostert is a cartoonist and writer of the Know Your Nation USA book and TV series. He can be reached at timmostert@gmail.com