If there’s one thing more tedious than a Liz Cheney op-ed, it’s the sound of Liz Cheney announcing—again—that she’s taking her toys and going home. Except she never quite goes home, does she? Instead, she takes her grim, scolding act on the road, popping up wherever the progressive media needs a Republican-in-Exile™ to solemnly warn about the impending doom of democracy—which, coincidentally, always seems to require putting Democrats in charge of everything.

Her latest target? J.D. Vance, a man who dared to believe that the executive branch is supposed to run the executive branch—a stance that, in Cheney’s world, qualifies as tyranny. At issue: The administration’s attempt to put certain USAID workers on leave, a move that would typically be a routine executive decision. But because this involved a Trump-Vance administration policy—and because progressive judges treat presidential authority like a Choose Your Own Adventure book where only the pages marked “Let Progressive Bureaucrats Run Everything” are allowed—a member of the judicial branch decided it was their job to micromanage the executive branch.

Naturally, Liz Cheney saw this as yet another opportunity to do what she does best: lecture Republicans about the “rule of law” while ignoring the part of the Constitution that explains who actually runs the government. According to her, J.D. Vance’s frustration with judicial overreach is some sort of assault on democracy. Never mind that, under this logic, courts should get to manage every hiring and firing decision in every federal agency because, well, why not?

In her boundless self-awareness, Cheney accused Vice President Vance of “rage-quit[ting] the Republic”—a fascinating take from someone whose entire post-congressional existence has been one long, stomping, self-righteous exit. If storming away in a huff, burning every bridge in sight, and spending years lecturing the people who rejected you isn’t rage-quitting, then the term has lost all meaning.

And speaking of selective outrage, I beg your pardon—isn’t it odd how so many media reports neglect to mention or gloss over the little thing about the last-minute pardon from former President Biden? You’d think a dramatic, unprecedented farewell gift like that would warrant at least a footnote in these breathless Cheney vs. The Tyrants write-ups. 

But no, let’s not dwell on inconvenient details. File it under “Things You’re Not Supposed to Talk About,” right between the New York Times omitting which president appointed a leftist judge and the latest euphemism for riots.

Let’s be honest—none of this is about the Constitution. It’s about Liz Cheney’s belief that she is the last righteous Republican, the sole defender of democracy, the keeper of the sacred flame that only burns at the MSNBC studio. She’s convinced that if she keeps showing up on Meet the Press, sternly denouncing anyone to the right of Adam Kinzinger, the country—and maybe even the great state of Wyoming—will finally realize how wrong it was to reject her.

Truth is, Liz Cheney didn’t climb the ladder—she was born at the top of it. If her name were Liz Chinn, she’d be the disheveled woman at a greasy spoon in Rock Springs, Wyoming, demanding to speak to the manager about creeping fascism while stabbing at a sad, half-eaten plate of hash browns. But lucky for her, the progressive media still needs their token “Republican” to perform outrage on command.

At some point, Liz must accept reality: The GOP has moved on. She’s become the political equivalent of a ’90s sitcom star who refuses to believe the show got canceled.

The progressive media still humors her, of course. Not because they like her—but because they like what she is: a Republican who hates Republicans so much that she’ll say anything to stay in the club. But even they aren’t exactly sure what to do with her anymore. She isn’t quite ready to become a full-blown Democrat, but she sure does love parroting their talking points. It’s only a matter of time before she starts calling for a TikTok ban to see if she can still get a New York Times op-ed published.

So, Liz, on behalf of conservatives who are tired of your breathless declarations of doom, let me offer you a friendly suggestion:

Just go already.

Write a book. Teach a class at Harvard. Join The Lincoln Project. Spend the rest of your days ranting into an MSNBC camera about how mean the GOP is to you.

Maybe your dad can recommend one of his favorite secure, undisclosed locations.

At this point, it’s just embarrassing.

Charlton Allen is an attorney, former chief executive officer, and chief judicial officer of the North Carolina Industrial Commission. He is the founder of the Madison Center for Law & Liberty, Inc., editor of The American Salient, and the host of the Modern Federalist podcast. X: @CharltonAllenNC

Image: YouTube video screen grab, cropped.