When Joe Biden dropped out of the presidential race, I was worried. Not that he’d try to sabotage Donald Trump. Not that he’d do everything he could to spit in the eye of Americans. Not that he’d try to save Hamas and damage Israel. Not that he’d leave the border wide open. Not that he’d try to do as much additional damage to America as he could before January 20. All that was guaranteed. I was worried he wouldn’t provide additional gaffes. Most politicians say and do incredibly stupid things, but Joe has been in a class by himself.

I needn’t have worried.

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On January 5, Joe Biden signed a bill that increased Social Security benefits for cops, firefighters, teachers and others to get increases in Social Security along with their pensions. It amounts to some three million beneficiaries. Afterward, Biden answered a few press questions and demonstrated yet again why he shouldn’t be anywhere near the nuclear football:

When I became president, the numbers came way down, number one. Number two, we had a circumstance where I pushed very hard for bipartisan agreement to put more people on the border, more, more Secret Service agent[s] [sic], and guess what? He’s on the phone saying, “Don’t do it. Don’t do it, [it will] make me look bad. That bill, that bill is ridiculous. It’s ridiculous,” 

I just hope we don’t — and by the way, the actions we take — the only thing by being the oldest president: I know more world leaders than any one of you ever met in your whole goddamn life. And I know them. You know how they think? Not a joke…

"Secret Service?" Actually, pretty much everything he says is a joke, and with that in mind, let’s take a brief trip down memory lane:

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*"A man I'm proud to call my friend. A man who will be the next President of the United States — Barack America!"

*"Look, John's last-minute economic plan does nothing to tackle the number-one job facing the middle class, and it happens to be, as Barack says, a three-letter word: jobs. J-O-B-S, jobs."

*"When the stock market crashed, Franklin D. Roosevelt got on the television and didn't just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, 'Look, here's what happened."

FDR wasn’t president then and TVs were in the experimental stage.

*"I wouldn't go anywhere in confined places now. … When one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft. That's me. I would not be, at this point, if they had another way of transportation, suggesting they ride the subway."

Joe always did love trains, or at least to talk about them:

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*At a League of Conservation Voters gathering on June 15, 2023, he declared intentions to construct a railroad "from the Pacific all the way across the Indian Ocean." 

*On September 28, 2022, during a White House conference, Joe Biden mistakenly asked for Congresswoman Jackie Walorski, who had died in a car accident eight weeks earlier. Despite releasing a statement mourning her death, Biden inquired about her presence. “Representative Jackie — are you here? Where’s Jackie? I think she was going to be here," he asked from the podium.

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*In a speech at a rally in Las Vegas, he mistakenly referred to French President Emmanuel Macron as Francois Mitterrand, who died in 1996. Biden recounted a G7 meeting in Cornwall in June 2021, stating, “Mitterrand from Germany – I mean, from France – looked at me and said, ‘You know, what... why… how long you back for?” Then, speaking in New York a few days later, Biden claimed to have discussed the Capitol riot with German Chancellor Helmut Kohl, who died in 2017. Angela Merkel was the Chancellor at the time of the riot.

Yeah Joe, it’s a bitch:

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*Isn't it a bitch? This vice president thing?

No one has any idea what this was about:

*"The beer brewed here, it is used to make the brew beered here." He then added, "Ooh, Earth Rider, thanks for the Great Lakes. I wonder why..." but trailed off as laughter from the audience drowned out his words.

Joe on science—I think:

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*And the question is whether or not we should be in a position where you are — why can’t the experts say we know that this virus is, in fact — is going to be — or, excuse me — we know why all the drugs approved are not temporarily approved, but permanently approved. That’s underway, too. I expect that to occur quickly.

*Think of the people, if your kid wanted to find out whether or not there were — there’s a man on the moon or whatever, you know, something, or, you know, whether those aliens are here or not, you know, who are the people they talk to beyond the kids who love talking about it?

I’m going to miss the gaffes. The rest…not so much.

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Mike McDaniel is a USAF veteran, classically trained musician, Japanese and European fencer, life-long athlete, firearm instructor, retired police officer and high school and college English teacher. He is a published author and blogger. His home blog is Stately McDaniel Manor.