Strange, isn’t it, how some people can light up a room?

And then there are those who enter like a soggy dishrag, wringing out all vitality and joy until even the pumpkin pie wants to surrender.

John Steinbeck nailed it: “Such people spread a grayness in the air about them.”

These days, that grayness comes accessorized with a Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion certificate and a handy list of reasons why your Thanksgiving dinner was actually an act of oppression.

Yes, the militant left’s DEI-industrial complex was working overtime this year, turning one of America’s most beloved holidays into yet another guilt-ridden funeral dirge.

If you thought Thanksgiving was about gratitude, family, and an unreasonable amount of carbs, think again. To the self-appointed cultural scolds, it’s a festival of colonialist horror, complete with “settler narratives” and “erasure of Indigenous voices.” (Also, if you enjoyed the Macy’s parade, congratulations—you’re probably complicit in capitalism, fossil fuel use, and, despite the best efforts of Hamas-aligned militants, upholding a cherished American tradition.)

The Post-Thanksgiving Guilt Tour

This year, campuses across the country invited us to “reimagine Thanksgiving” as something called a “Day of Mourning.”

At the California Institute of Technology (Caltech), the Center for Inclusion and Diversity led this charge, encouraging participants to reflect on the holiday’s “problematic” origins. Caltech urged students to reject traditional narratives in favor of “honoring Indigenous and Native communities.” (Because nothing says “happy holiday” like guilt.)

Not to be outdone, the University of Oregon hosted a Nov. 21 event titled “Thanks But No Thanks-giving: Decolonizing an American Holiday.”

The event description proclaimed that Thanksgiving is, at its core, “a celebration of the ongoing genocide against native peoples and cultures across the globe.”

Apparently, gratitude for turkey and pie is just a thinly veiled excuse for complicity in atrocities — who knew?

For parents of younger children, the radicals have gone a step further, offering a “Decolonizing Thanksgiving Toolkit” complete with sample complaint letters to send to schools griping over traditional Thanksgiving activities. You knew there had to be a cottage industry for this tripe, right?

Naturally, if you’re a consumer of this high-level sophistry, you’ll need expert guidance on how to grouse about it effectively. Heaven forbid a child learn about gratitude, community, or the story of Squanto (a.k.a., Tisquantum), a Patuxet who helped early settlers survive and whose efforts were central to the peaceful first Thanksgiving.

Indeed, these soul-draining zealots, in their mad quest to cancel anything tied to our nation’s history and lore — only to replace it with a Marxist critique of victimization and patriarchy — reveal themselves as the 21st-century equivalent of the Puritans they claim to despise.

Like a modern-day Salem witch trial, their moral crusade spares no tradition, no matter how joyous or unifying, branding gratitude itself as the heresy of privilege.

But wait — will Squanto be canceled now, too? He was part of the Wampanoag Confederacy (a word that will no doubt trigger some), a group of over 50 tribes, yet he dared to collaborate with settlers. Surely, in today’s hyper-purist climate, even a figure like Squanto can’t escape scrutiny for helping ensure the survival of early colonists. After all, nuance and historical context have no place in the woke crusade against joy.

How We Got Here

Thanksgiving used to be one of the few remaining holidays that everyone could enjoy. It wasn’t about politics, protest, or posturing — it was about food, family, and, let’s face it, an excuse to wear sweatpants — at least for some. Sure, the history is complicated — what part of history isn’t? But the modern celebration is less about the Pilgrims and more about gratitude and connection.

But for the DEI crowd, that’s not good enough. Their entire enterprise depends on finding new ways to feel aggrieved. Without perpetual grievance, the whole thing collapses faster than a bad soufflé. So, they dig up the darkest parts of history, strip them of context, and slap a guilt trip on your turkey.

And the language! You aren’t enjoying a meal anymore; you’re “engaging with the legacy of settler-colonial oppression.”

Your cousin isn’t just saying grace; he’s reenacting centuries of structural violence.

This kind of overwrought academic nonsense is designed to make ordinary Americans feel like they’ve wandered onto the set of a bad campus satire — or worse, a dystopian movie where joy is outlawed.

Moving On from the Grievance Binge Fringe

Here’s the thing: Most Americans are fed up with this shtick. They just want to enjoy their holidays without being made to feel like villains. We know the past isn’t perfect. We know history is messy. But we also know that wallowing in perpetual guilt isn’t fixing anything. At some point, the DEI-industrial complex is going to have to realize that Americans don’t take kindly to being lectured over their mashed potatoes by those who, as Steinbeck put it, “can drain off energy and joy, can suck pleasure dry and get no sustenance from it.”

Thanksgiving deserves better than being turned into an angst-ridden guilt trip orchestrated by these 21st-century Cromwells.

Gratitude isn’t a zero-sum game. Being thankful for what we have doesn’t erase anyone else’s struggles. And sharing a meal with family and friends isn’t a moral failing. Quite the opposite: It’s a celebration of the very humanity that connects us all.

Next year, let’s do Thanksgiving the old-fashioned way — extra gravy, no guilt. Or better yet, tell them to pass the stuffing and hold the sermon — or, if you’re south of the Mason-Dixon Line, pass the dressing, not the diatribe. And perhaps the leftists should have stopped their deconstruction derby before it crashed into the tradition of allowing the winner of a political party’s presidential primaries to stand for election in the fall. Wait … too soon?

Here’s the thing: Americans love their Thanksgiving dinner — whether it’s stuffing or dressing — unapologetically joyous, carb-filled, and tradition-rich. And no amount of grievance-fueled Binge Fringe theatrics will shove that joy off the table. Until next year, keep your stuffing, your gratitude, and your freedom intact — and tell the scolds to stuff it.

Charlton Allen is an attorney and former Chief Executive Officer and Chief Judicial Officer of the North Carolina Industrial Commission. He is the founder and editor of The American Salient and the host of The Modern Federalist podcast. For the record, he prefers dressing over stuffing.

Image: Library of Congress, via Picryl // no known restrictions on publication