Who doesn't love a sappy Hollywood movie? Here's the plot: the guy gets the girl. No one expected him to, the whole idea of it was a joke. But amazingly, the relationship seems to be working, though it's beset with difficulties. Midway through the movie, they break up, and some other guy looks like he's set to take over. Maybe it was all just a mistake from the beginning. But wait, the new guy stumbles and our hero comes back. They meet up at the top of the Empire State Building and everyone, well 53% of everyone, leaves the theater happy.

Maybe I'm looking at politics the wrong way, but the last nine years seem pretty scripted. First Hillary Clinton takes her win for granted. Who's going to vote for a guy constantly described by the once-trusted media as a game-show host -- forgetting his real-life successes as a property developer in the country's most difficult city to get anything done. And forgetting all the celebrities who cherished photo-ops with him. 

Spoiler Alert: The outsider wins the election. The country prospers despite ongoing sniping from the once-trusted media and fabricated stories from the opposition. Just when you think there's going to be a happy ending, disease strikes. It's a deadly, incurable disease and according to some sources as many as two hundred and twenty million Americans die from it. No drugs can possibly ease the condition, and even injecting bleach has no effect, not that anyone suggested doing that.

Conditions in the country are so bad that an extra forty million voters turn out at the next election to make sure the country returns to sanity and elects a tried and trusted veteran of politics who has served his country steadfastly for almost a century. The country heaves a sigh of relief. The deadly plague is beaten and life is allowed to return to normal. There are a few minor problems with war, inflation, uncontrolled immigration, another war, maybe a third war. But then something weird happens. The seasoned politician falls off his bicycle. It reminded me of the scene in The Man Who Would Be King (1975), where Sean Connery, whom the locals believe is a god, is bitten, and bleeds. So, not a god, then. After that, it was one weakness after another for our Senior Politician. Suddenly his speech became slurred, he seemed confused. He appeared to be senile, or maybe he was drugged. His party abandons him as the next election looms.

The Democrats, having failed to get Clinton across the finish line with the compelling slogan, ”I'm With Her,” decide to reuse the same slogan with their new candidate, Vice President Harris. To no one's surprise, this fails to excite the masses.

Our original hero tries to come back as the romantic lead again. His journey is beset by violence. An assassination attempt wounds him and kills one of his supporters. This surely is the low point of the story. The failure of the agencies tasked with protecting our leaders shocks many.

The once-trusted media confidently predicts that this close election will be the last hurrah for our hero, but in a surprise twist, the polls are wrong. Again. It seems that the electorate was, once again, Not With Her.

Now victorious, our hero collects his team of superheroes and starts work. Already the wars are ending, the price of gas in down to a buck fifty and we can all feel that glow of a story with a happy ending.

This story is so cheesy, it has to be made up. The characters are such cliches. Has any previous Presidential candidate mastered the amount of hubris exhibited by Hillary? Has any President been as gaffe-prone as Biden? Obama is alleged to have said of him, "Don't underestimate Joe's ability to f*** things up." And Trump had to lose the 2020 election for the story to be dramatic. Where would the twist be if he had just served two consecutive terms? He'd have had one successful term, but the inflation caused by insane Covid spending would have marred his second term. No, Biden had to come in and take the hit. Just like in the romcom where it's the interregnum that builds the story for the characters. We didn't know how much we needed a President Trump until our sad little episode with Biden. The clincher for me was a shot of Biden, after the election, smiling as he leaves the stage -- just like at the end of the play when all the actors come on and take a bow.

Image: Gage Skidmore