I am a baby boomer and the fictional town of Mayberry is special to me. Lately, I have been trying to imagine what Mayberry would be like if 20,000 uninvited Haitians took residence. Sheriff Andy would no doubt start carrying a gun full-time and Deputy Barney Fife would be keeping his one bullet in the chamber. Gomer would have lots more “citizen’s arrest” moments for illegal U-turns and mild-mannered young Opie might be paying out lunch money to more than one bully. Lovable town drunk Otis would probably not protest to the reality of sharing his jail cell. Sadly, Myers Lake would be fished out and ducks and geese nowhere to be found.

I have also been picturing what Stars Hollow (Gilmore Girls) might be like if it suffered the same fate as Mayberry. While Stars Hollow does not hold the same place in my heart that Mayberry does, it does for the millennials in my life. Let’s see. I am imagining Rory Gilmore with a whole new assortment of interesting young men to date. Her mom, Lorelai, is still in charge of the Dragonfly Inn but now her clientele has changed -- they are government-subsidized Haitians. Luke now sports a red MAGA hat (worn backwards of course) and spends every moment at his diner watching his customers like a hawk. Snobby and filthy rich Emily and Richard Gilmore, Rory’s grandparents, are afraid to visit. Surprisingly, the happiest person in Stars Hollow is the formerly oft crabby French-speaking Michel Gerard. Why is he now happy? Because Michel is raking in thousands working as the lone translator/liaison between the two Stars Hollow communities.

If these two quaint fictional towns were suddenly overrun by 20,000 uninvited Haitians it might provide some humorous television, but imagine if it really happened to an American town. But it has. The name of the town is Springfield, Ohio, and the story is not very funny. It is happening in Springfield and it could happen, if we are not careful, anywhere in America. Can you imagine thousands of poor immigrants from a third world country, who speak only a foreign language and have a different culture, simply moving in en masse?

You see, this is not about cats and dogs and it is not my intention to disparage the Haitian people who come from one of the poorest nations on our planet. This is about the Democrat party. If I didn’t know any better, I would say they are trying to flood our country with foreigners in an attempt to completely change the demographics of the U.S. citizenry and win this and all future elections.  I think even Barney Fife could figure that one out. 

Image: AT via Magic Studio