I’ve spent a lot of time with a childless cat lady. I’m a Republican who has lived in New York for 30 years, so I had to make do with friends who were Democrats.  Once the era of Trump hysteria set in this became a problem. If you wanted to keep your New York friends or even just get on with the people you met day-to-day, you would absolutely have to zip it. I was assailed by non-stop ranting at dentist, chiropractor, and hair appointments. The acupuncturist who was treating me for anxiety at the time my husband was dying went into Trump tirades as soon as she had me on the table. That was in 2019.

I’d met Ellen, the childless cat lady, at yoga… yoga, that’s a TDS haven if ever there was one. I went to my regular class the day after the 2016 Trump election victory and if I thought I was going to get a solid workout I had another thing coming. The unthinkable had happened. We were in tragic mode, seated in stunned silence on our mats, the teacher guiding us into breathing and other yogic techniques to deal with our overwhelming emotions. And all the classes in the following weeks were geared towards soothing our troubled souls. 

Ellen lived near me and we became friends. Like many liberal ladies she was wealthy. Her husband, a lovely but timid man in her presence, ran a very successful business. She had two cats, which her husband knew were more indispensable to her than he was. They routinely had massage and acupuncture by specialists who came to the house, and Ellen cultivated a team of carers to look after them when she was away. I was one of the team, which she considered a flattering token of her confidence in me as a person. 

Ellen didn’t work, but she did have a mission. It was a didactic rather than a practical one. The 2016 election made it obvious that half of the country needed correction. Her favorite teaching tool was internet videos and there were plenty of those. I had to be educated about my inner racism and assumption of privilege. I’d be sitting down to her table to enjoy dinner and a video would be propped in front of me about a prison program for “black and brown” inmates aiming to bring out their talents, the ones that had been suppressed by the white privileged classes.  While we did yoga practice together, we had to be inspired by the Audible version of Michelle Obama’s autobiography. My resistance to it all never mattered -- I was bound to submit.  

Her particular issue was sustainability. Once when I was staying at her Hudson Valley home during the pandemic I was doing my part to help clear away the dishes after dinner and threw into the sink a third of a glass of spring water she had left. She pounced on me: “What are you doing?” I explained myself, but was angrily told that if she left something it wasn’t because she wouldn’t use it etc. Disposal of whatever was garbage was strictly regulated. There was the compost, the regular trash (to be kept to a minimum), or the recycle. One day I ate a couple of cherries and didn’t know what to do with the pits -- compost or regular garbage? Eventually I wrapped them in tissue and put them in the garbage. Because she notices everything, even in the trash. 

And all this educating me about sustainability while I lived in a 600 sq ft apartment in New York with my husband, no car, very little travel.  All this educating me when Ellen had three residences, in NYC, Hudson, and London, traveled to by car or plane, all maintained with carbon-related resources. The hypocrisy is always palpable to everyone but the ideological fanatics. 

In 2022 I moved to Florida. As everyone but the ideological fanatics knows, New York, along with the other big blue cities, has spiraled into widespread criminality and grotesque degeneracy. I don’t want or need to mention the kinds of things I witnessed in the streets and on the subway. I find red state life wonderful. I still have liberal friends but they tend to be more moderate in their beliefs and it’s understood we don’t talk politics. Floridians don’t tend to think of race or gender -- they just like each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt. They look you in the eye and say, “Good Morning.” They are happy. There are childless cat ladies, but they mostly moved to Florida because they opened their eyes and saw the real-life consequences of their luxury beliefs. 

Image: AT via Magic Studio