See “You just might be a Democrat if… (with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy)” and “You just might be a Democrat if … Part II”

If you think imprisoning your political opponents is the best way to “save a democracy,” you just may be a Democrat.

If you think that the sun isn’t a big factor in heating the earth, but your neighbor’s lawn mower is, you just may be a Democrat.

If you think only white people can be racist because of the color of their skin, you just may be a Democrat.

If you think invasive species are an existential threat, but unfettered illegal immigration is not, you just may be a Democrat.

If you think words can be violence, but some forms of violence should be protected as free speech, you just may be a Democrat.

If you think the Bill of Rights got it wrong, you just may be a Democrat.

If you think that concerned parents are domestic terrorists, but that Hamas is a force for good, you just may be a Democrat.

If you think that smoking cigarettes and consuming alcohol is bad, but that smoking pot and drinking beverages laced with THC is good, you just may be a Democrat.

If you think white supremacists are everywhere, but have never seen a racist person of color, you just may be a democrat.

If you have three forms of ID, but think that it would be too difficult for most black folks to obtain even one, you just might be a Democrat.

If you think there are more “genders” than stars in the sky, you just may be a Democrat.

If you think Seth Myers is funny, but the Babylon Bee is not, you just may be a Democrat.

If you think pipelines should be banned, but crack pipes should be passed out free to addicts, you just may be a Democrat.

If you think Donald Trump lies all the time, but Joe Biden just stretches the truth a bit at times, you just may be a Democrat.

If you believe that a woman must be free to decide whether or not to keep her baby, but should be forced to accept an experimental vaccine into her body, you just may be a Democrat.

If you think Trump should be thrown in prison for an expired paperwork misdemeanor, but that rapists and murderers should quickly be given another chance, you just may be a Democrat.

If you believe in gun control, but not self-control, you just may be a Democrat.

If you believe in “your truth,” but cannot accept anyone questioning it, you just may be a Democrat.

If you would like to see “The Sound of Music” remade with an all-LGBTQ cast, but would be aghast if a straight person played, say, Billie Jean King in a movie, you just may be a Democrat.

If you believe “the science is settled,” but that the existence of two sexes is not, you just may be a Democrat.

If you treat people as a member of a group, not as an individual—and are proud of that—you just may be a Democrat.

If you think wearing a cloth face mask makes you a better person than those who don’t, you just may be a Democrat.

If you believe the truth is fungible, but whatever Rachel Maddow says is not, you just may be a Democrat.

If you are skeptical of God, but not of the mainstream media, you just may be a Democrat.

If you believe bigger people are bad, but bigger government is good, you just may be a Democrat.

If you believe that making lots of money is bad, but that taking lots of money from those who make it is good, you just may be a Democrat.

If you don’t think retail salespeople should wish others “Merry Christmas,” but fervently believe Kwanzaa should be recognized, you just may be a Democrat.

If you didn’t like Ronald Reagan, but kind of had a thing for Mikhail Gorbachev, you just may be a Democrat.

If you are pro-abortion, but think the death penalty is barbaric, you just may be a Democrat.

If you think intolerance is the biggest sin, and yet are utterly intolerant of those that disagree, you just may be a Democrat.

If you would rather watch a Pride parade than an Independence Day parade, you just may be a Democrat.

Image generated by AI.