Rep. Greg Steube, R-Fla, introduced a bill to rename U.S. coastal waters. Currently called the U.S. Exclusive Economic Zone (EEZ), he wants it to be the “Donald John Trump Exclusive Economic Zone of the United States.” Okay, it’s a grand gesture, but it doesn’t go far enough. Literally.

The U.S. EEZ extends 200 nautical miles from the territorial sea baseline and is adjacent to the 12 nautical mile territorial sea of the U.S. That’s extensive, representing an area larger than all 50 states combined. Still, I repeat that it doesn’t go far enough.

Nope, what we need is a “Donald J. Trump Lunar South Pole American Colonial Exploration Zone” (TRULUSPACE, if you will). Or a Trump Lunar South Pole Exclusive Economic Zone (this one’s a stretch, but… TRULUSPEEZ, because its engineers and stewards are truly special).

Predictably, the Dem whining weasels are ridiculing Congressman Steube’s bill. Therefore, any NASA mission to harvest the moon’s ice and mineral resources at a proposed Trump lunar South Pole zone ought to drive them apoplectic. Good.

It may even be justified. Part of Congressman Steube’s rationale for renaming our coastal waterways is that Trump cares about “the strength and resilience of our oceans.” True, but he also cares about space, especially our potential explorations into the solar system. Indeed, it was President Trump who signed into law the creation of the Space Force, as a stand-alone, sixth branch of the U.S. military.

And that force may find that one of its future missions is to protect our assets at the moon’s South Pole, especially from China and India.

Indeed, China petulantly left behind patriotic graffiti on the moon’s far side. How dare they! Well, at least they’re where they belong -- on the “dark side” of the moon (from the Earth’s perspective, given tidal locking). Just don’t encroach upon our Trump Lunar South Pole Economic Exclusionary Zone, nor spread your filthy, gain-of-function germs. There’s a slight (but concerning) possibility that viruses might survive in the harsh environment -- for a short period, anyway.

Whatever its final incarnation, the Trump lunar economic exclusionary zone should also exclude divisive DEI tenets. We need the “right stuff” to lay the foundations for long-term lunar stays, not the unmeritorious DEI stuff. The best of the best, not the best of the rest. Though I’m afraid crude DEI seems to be calibrating the gyroscope that will guide the “crewed” Artemis III mission, which is tentatively scheduled to land at the moon’s South Pole region in 2026.

There is an ineffectual Moon Treaty that attempts to curtail government activities, but it represents just another failure of the United Nations (Office for Outer Space Affairs). It has not even been ratified by most of the countries with the wherewithal to actually go to, and stay on, the moon. The United States is not a signatory, so there’s no encumbrance to establishing the Trump Lunar South Pole Exclusive Economic Zone. No obvious restrictions to drill, baby, drill.

The Artemis Accords, which are voluntary and non-binding, have noble intentions to establish a framework for cooperation in the exploration and peaceful use of the moon. Again, they do not preempt how, or upon whom, a country decides to name its exploration sites. So under the MAGA aegis, drill, baby, drill.

Congressman Steube is well-intentioned. Our coastal waterways are obviously and absolutely vital to our national interests. Declaring our commitment to their protection by a symbolic name change to the person who guarantees American interests first is a good start. 

The current size of Steube’s proposed Donald J. Trump Exclusive Economic Zone of the United States is formidable, but not the extensive extension that MAGA warrants. To the moon, baby, then Mars.

Image: ESA; RegoLight, visualisation: Liquifer Systems Group