The Great State of Illinois has just done conservatives the biggest favor since they put Jimmy Carter in the White House!  It’s brilliant!

What are Illinois Democrats doing that is so awesome?  They just replaced the word “offender” with the Newspeak term “justice impacted individual”!

Do you see the possibilities? 

We no longer have to call J.B. Pritzker “body positive.”  We can call him a “Twinkie impacted individual”!  Or better yet, a “Cargill impacted individual.” 

When you go to the hospital, you can cease to be a “patient” and become a “health care system impacted individual.”

Someone wandering around wearing a mask because Anderson Cooper told him to be afraid is a “mainstream media impacted individual.”

Detransitioners will finally be able to make damage claims via “gender-affirming care impacted individuals.”

At the grocery store, you are no longer a “consumer,” but rather an “inflation impacted individual.”

If Antifa blocks you from walking to your college class, you become an “Antifa impacted individual.”

If you have a squatter in your rental unit, you are a “squatter impacted individual.”

And how many of us are already “election fraud impacted individuals”?

Smokers become “tobacco industry impacted individuals,” and TikTok users become “CCP impacted individuals.”

The key word here is “individual.”

The Democrats have been lumping individuals together into the most grotesque groupings for some time now.  I’m glad they finally got one word right in their endless word salad!

President Trump is a “Democrat lawfare impacted individual.”

As an Illinois legislator impacted individual, I implore our all-you-can-eat buffet impacted governor to go ahead and make sure he never gets called “offender.”  (Illinois is the only state where a former governor makes your license plate.)

J.B. Pritzker and his “Jeffery Epstein impacted cousin” might just have enough money and political connections to avoid becoming “justice impacted”...but we can use their Newspeak to avoid liability in our writing and expose them.  After all, what about “Epstein impacted” isn’t true?

Now, now...I hear you.  The actual trafficked girls are the “Epstein impacted individuals.”  But with a word like “impacted,” the umbrella has been opened by the liberals to cover the perp...er, um...“justice impacted” individuals as well...or even those who should be justice impacted, but won’t be because they are rich Democrats.

“DIE impacted individual”

“CRT impacted individual”

“DNC impacted individual”

“Trans impacted individual”

“Criminal activity impacted individual”

“E.V. impacted individual”...!

The possibilities are endless.

Image via Pxfuel.