When brave Sir Biden rode south from Scranton toward the dark, fetid swamp of D.C., he was not afraid to die.

No, based on his many, many tales of personal bravery, Joe was not at all afraid of being killed in nasty ways.

Like being mashed to a pulp while driving a 16-wheeler, or getting knifed in the gut in the Puerto Rican neighborhood where he grew up, or having his brains beat out by racist police while bravely standing with a black family on their porch.

Nor was Biden in the least concerned about being sliced to shreds by Corn Pop’s rusty razor, or being left to rot in a South African jail after being detained while trying to visit Nelson Mandela, or drowning in shark-infested waters during battle after being nominated to the Naval Academy.

Heck, he wasn’t even the least bit worried about having his legs torn off playing Navy football — it was only because Roger Staubach was already at the academy that valiant Sir Biden retreated to Delaware U.

Fearless Joe likewise laughed at the prospect of being eaten by cannibals, as his Uncle Bosie was, or coughing up blood from black lung disease like his coal-mining Kinnock forebears, or completely tearing a pectoral muscle during a push-up contest with one of his constituents.

Sir Joe was so tough that he often fantasized aloud about getting into it with Donald Trump behind the gym, blithely ignoring Trump’s obvious advantage in height, weight, reach, age, accomplishment, intelligence, and real-world experience.

Joe the Lionhearted was also unafraid to die in Iraq like his son Beau, having been shot at several times while visiting that war-torn land.  Biden likewise laughed at the prospect of contracting small-cell carcinoma while visiting the World Trade Center hellscape the day after 9/11.  And Sir Joe was totally unfazed by the threat of being burned alive when his helicopter was suddenly forced down in Afghanistan.  And, it goes without saying, he also laughed in the face of being incinerated in that terrible fire in his Delaware home that almost destroyed his beloved Corvette...er, wife!

Based on his own words, it seems clear that absolutely nothing — real or imagined — scares Joe Biden.

But when it came time to kill bin Laden, Joe slunk away from that tough task.  A worried V.P. Biden also turned tail when President Obama surged troop levels in Afghanistan in an attempt to turn that war around.

As president, Biden was quick to run away from Afghanistan, leaving behind thousands of Americans and allies, and thirteen dead U.S. soldiers.  Our lily-livered president further distanced himself from those dead heroes by frequently checking his watch as their remains were being repatriated.

Sensing Biden’s innate cowardice, Russia decided to take over a neighboring country, correctly guessing that our support for Ukraine would be half-hearted and ineffective — unless dead Ukrainians was the goal.

Iran also noticed the obvious yellow streak on Biden’s back and instructed its Hamas minions to commit atrocities against Israel unseen since the Holocaust.

They correctly guessed that the absolute chicken in the Oval Office would offer lip service to Israel before eventually siding with the terrorists, and now publicly criticizing Israeli leaders in the middle of an existential war while also withholding promised munitions.

And when radical leftists took over college campuses across America, vandalizing buildings, endangering students and staff, and openly calling for “death to Jews,” scaredy-cat Biden did nothing, hoping in vain to please Muslim voters in Michigan.

Why China hasn’t annexed Taiwan during feckless Joe’s term in office is a mystery future historians will struggle to understand.

Suffice it to say that despite Biden’s many stories of personal courage, when danger rears its ugly head, brave Sir Joe has always turned tail and fled.

He fled from COVID to his basement lair, he ran from baldness with his phony hair, he met the pope and then pooped his pants, and he scares the world with his senile rants, brave, old, demented Sir Biden.

In every conflict he runs away, he’s seen only a few hours a day, he’s scared to do interviews or speak off the cuff, his aides all fear that he’ll fall on his duff, he’s bound to fail putting The Donald in jail, he can’t even tell you what constitutes a “male,” there’s no one he can’t beat when it comes to retreat, brave, brave, brave Sir Robinette.

Let the history books note that when trouble came his addle-pated way, Joe Biden simply ran away, away.

Image via Picryl.