Self-hating Jews, Queers4Palestine, and conservatives walk into a bar and ask for the strongest drink available. The bartender says, “Are you sure? It’s pretty potent.” One from the groups replies, “We’re not afraid of extinction; we’re embracing it!”

Now that you have wiped the laugh tears from your eyes and your knees have stopped hurting from the slapping, let’s look at why this joke works.

It’s the math.

John Allen Paulos explains the math of humor in his book “Mathematics and Humor.”

Paulos argues that both math and humor involve pattern recognition, misdirection, and resolution of cognitive tensions. Math uses logical patterns, while humor subverts expected patterns, one of which is how absurd premises stretched to logical conclusions become funny by exposing the paradoxes and limitations of formal reasoning systems. Overall, Paulos posits that math and humor are linked by their dependence on patterns, derailed expectations, and resolutions of cognitive dissonance.

The cognitive dissonance and the stretching of absurd premises to logical conclusions unite these fools. They are further united with Poseur Biden in that they are par compost mentis (roughly translated as “s*** for brains”) or decompos mentis. Take your pick.

Easiest to demonstrate among these groups is the profound stupidity of Queers4Palestine since a picture explains it all. And a picture is worth a thousand screeds:

Image: Internet meme.

The group of activists in the uper photo clearly has a death wish that manifests itself as a burning desire to receive a Darwin Award. Wish them luck. The good to come from their demise will hopefully serve as a teachable moment. Cognitive dissonance on toast.

Likewise, the self-hating Jews, i.e., those who support Hamas and the So-Called Palestinians (SCPs), have a death wish. It is no secret that the object of their love will kill them given half a chance. They say as much in their Covenant:

Israel will exist and will continue to exist until Islam will obliterate it, just as it obliterated others before it.

[snip]

The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him salvation, has said:

"The Day of Judgement will not come about until Moslems fight the Jews (killing the Jews), when the Jew will hide behind stones and trees. The stones and trees will say O Moslems, O Abdulla, there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him.” [directing the killing of Jews, drawing on a hadith]

The absurd premise of these “Jews” taken to its logical conclusion will stretch them fully in their final repose six feet under.

Which brings us to the conservatives.

What is wrong with these people? Are they unable to see how they, too, are sabotaging themselves? What is it with their abortion policy death wish? While the Arizona Supreme Court was correct that you simply cannot wish away an old law you do not like, Republicans are now determined to make abortion an issue in their state as we draw near a contentious election that sees progressive Democrats have abortion as the only arrow in their quiver.

There is an absolutely fundamental question that needs to be addressed: In the short term, with the federal government at stake, why do conservatives care if Dems/Progs/Libs (DPLs) want to sacrifice their unborn?

“Because it is the right thing to do,” is not a valid answer as we head to the election. “Right” for whom? To whom? For what result?

The cemetery is filled with people who had the right of way. They were right. They are dead.

“Every life is precious.” “Protect our most defenseless.” Great bumper stickers and talking points. Terrible policy, assuming conservatives want to take power, that is.

For the here and now, if you are a conservative and nip abortion in the bud legislatively, DPLs will unite and find illegal ways to cast even more votes than otherwise. They are motivated. You will lose at the fraudulent ballot box and all your chest-thumping will have been for naught.

Looking forward, being right and caring that future DPLs are born is self-destructive because, given the stats on who gets them, restrictions will result in more DPLs. Even if the DPLs lose a national election or four, in 18 years + 9 months, when the children that result from Republican policies vote, they will reverse it all. And then some.

To see the future of conservatives, if abortion is illegalized or severely restricted, look no further than here. These bastards will kill you as it is their way in virtually every country around the world. (e.g., ISIS, only)

Abortion is the gift DPLs give to conservatives. Do not squander it. Better still, start a GoFundMe to establish Planned Parenthood Clinics in Dearborn, MI.