Scrabble is revamping—a more “inclusive” and “accessible” version is set to hit the shelves for those who don’t like the “competitive” nature of the traditional game. (Spoiler alert: The intended audience is Gen Z.)

Here’s the story, via a BBC report out yesterday:

Mattel is to launch a new version of Scrabble which is designed to be more collaborative and accessible for those who find word games intimidating.

The new double-sided Scrabble board will still feature the original game for those who want to play the traditional version.

But the new game on the flip side will include helper cards, use a simpler scoring system and be quicker to play.

Here’s what English broadcaster Gyles Brandreth said of the announcement:

‘The makers of Scrabble found that younger people, Gen Z people, don’t quite like the competitive nature of Scrabble….’

A “simpler” scoring system? How much “simpler” could Scrabble be though? As long as you can add into the single- and double-digits (or triple-digits with the right letters and premium squares), and you know your multiplication tables, the scoring system is self-explanatory. 

Now, “quicker to play” I understand, especially when you consider the context of who the executives had in mind when they decided to remake the game-cupboard staple that had been the same for the last seventy-five years—as a whole, Gen Z seriously lacks any attention span. This is the group of people who text and post in some bizarre version of nonsensical shorthand: Frfr? Sus? Ngl? Bruh? No cap?

But, would this Gen Z target consumer really look up from social media, ditch the phone, and sit down for a game of Scrabble if only it were just more “inclusive” and less “competitive”? I’m not so sure.

This story, of catering to a Gen Z audience, reminds me of when Eddie Bauer revamped its logo, opting to move away from the cursive script and adopt a block script; the cursive was too “confusing” for the “kids” who “don’t even learn to read cursive in school anymore.” (Johnson & Johnson did the same thing, although I think they may have cited the desire for a “minimalist” look.)

Of course, this is affirmative action Scrabble, the “disadvantaged” group being… the participation trophy group of people who’ve been indoctrinated instead of educated. (In fact, I’m surprised this version doesn’t actually include miniature trophies for all game participants.)

Sure they don’t have much of an English vocabulary and simple arithmetic isn’t “simple” enough, but they did “learn” Critical Race Theory, and they “know” their LGBTQ++ history.

And yes, grammar recitations were missed, but they can recite “my body, my choice” or “no justice, no peace” which frankly, are of far greater importance.

you can't play scrabble anymore. because of woke pic.twitter.com/FzhrccSRRm

— margo 🦢🪻 (@margothefriend) April 9, 2024

Now, I can’t snub a company’s efforts to adapt to a changing world and adjust their product to meet the demands of the market—and if the market is shifting, with more and more consumers being TikTok-addicted youngsters with the inability to focus and a public school “education”? All I can say is that I wouldn’t want to be in Mattel’s shoes.

What’s next? A Monopoly revamp? A Klaus Schwab version where you own nothing? A congressional variation where eminent domain comes into play? A New York “special edition” that includes squatters and a conniving “Peekaboo” James villain seizing property that doesn’t belong to them? Will the “get out of jail free” card turn into a “cashless bail” card?

This is nothing more than death by a thousand cuts; it’s just one more hairline fracture in the foundation of a moral and innovative West, an institution that the woke left methodically undermines, in large part, by churning out useful idiots. Yet, like a colleague articulated, “useful idiots” often fall into the “too dumb to live” category:

'If they're this thick give them a plastic bag to play with.'@LeoKearse on talks of a dumbed down version of Scrabble to make it less challenging for kids. pic.twitter.com/NVqJLmVRz0

— GB News (@GBNEWS) April 10, 2024

Image: Free image, Pixabay license, no attribution required.