I’ve got news for Rachel Maddow, Joe and Mika, and Joyless Reid: local Republican committees in flyover America are the most boring places on Earth.  There’s no rage, no plotting, no racism, homophobia, anything.  You want to know what rural Republicans are up to?  Fundraising dinners to pay for yard signs...on the most uncomfortable folding metal chairs you ever sat in.

MSNBC won’t report on what local Republicans are doing, because it would bore the audience to death.

We open our MSNBC exposé at a meeting.  It starts late, because most attendees are late.  They say the Pledge of Allegiance, and then they move into old business, which is usually about table centerpieces for the fundraiser.  New business consists of selecting radicalized entrées (pork or beef), insurrectional appetizers (they expect shrimp cocktail at a fundraiser), and an extreme venue (like the meeting rooms at the Holiday Inn Express), for as low a price as possible.

Then we move on to the most extreme part of the evening: the silent auction.  We plot to go talk to local businesses about donations.

Real wild stuff.  I’m sure the FBI plant in our group is wondering how on Earth he’s going to set us up.  There’s just so little to work with.  If they can figure out which direction he’s coming from, they might be able to bust the committee chairman for speeding.  He is always the last to arrive.

You want to know what rural Illinois Republicans want?  They send people to a Democrat-supermajority Legislature and hope for some scraps for their districts.  Maybe get some of the worst potholes filled, or signage for school zones.

They don’t expect much, except more tax increases.

There’s no rage.  There’s definitely lots of disgust, but no rage.  The folks in flyover land don’t really have much time for such.  They have bills and taxes to pay.

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