In a truly groundbreaking display of judicial wisdom, U.S. District Judge Sharon Johnson Coleman has single-handedly redefined the essence of American freedom. The Second Amendment, long-thought to be the sacred domain of U.S. citizens and those legally within its borders, has now been extended with a generous hand to those who find the concept of a legal process... optional.

Let’s all take a moment to applaud Judge Coleman’s revolutionary ruling in favor of Heriberto Carbajal-Flores, an illegal alien who took it upon himself to become an overnight defender of his temporary American castle. With no prior criminal record, save for the minor oversight of residing in the U.S. illegally, Carbajal-Flores became a symbol of self-reliance amidst the civil unrest of 2020. He didn’t let something as trivial as federal law prevent him from exercising his “constitutional right” to carry a personal firearm. After all, why let laws dictate your actions when you can interpret the Constitution as you please?

The ruling not only challenges the archaic notion that laws apply equally to everyone but also paves the way for an estimated 11 million illegal aliens to claim their share of the Second Amendment pie. Why should the right to bear arms be reserved for those bogged down by legal paperwork and citizenship tests? In Judge Coleman’s enlightened America, the Bill of Rights is apparently a universal catch-all, regardless of one’s adherence to federal immigration laws.

This decision surely has our founding fathers tipping their powdered wigs in bemusement, marveling at how their carefully worded amendments are interpreted in the modern era. It appears that the phrase “the right of the people to keep and bear Arms” is as flexible as a Cirque du Soleil acrobat, bending to accommodate anyone within the geographical confines of the U.S., legal status notwithstanding.

And let’s not overlook the comedic gold that is Congress, needing to be “a little bit more powerful” in the face of such judicial acrobatics. The suggestion that lawmakers must refine their statutes to prevent non-citizens from bearing arms sounds like a punchline in a stand-up routine. After all, why would Congress assume that laws designed to regulate gun ownership should apply to everyone equally?

As we stand on the precipice of this brave new world, where legal documentation is optional for exercising constitutional rights, one must ponder: Are we simplifying the pathway to freedom or complicating the very fabric of lawful society? In the meantime, law-abiding citizens and green card carriers can (theoretically) rest easy knowing that their Second Amendment rights are secure... at least until the next groundbreaking judicial ruling decides otherwise.

In a nation built on laws, it’s heartening to see those without regard for legal boundaries receive the same privileges as those who play by the rules. After all, why let a little thing like legal status get in the way of constitutional rights? In this enlightened era, it seems the only ones truly bound by laws are those who follow them.

Welcome to the brave new world: a world where only the law-abiding are disarmed.

Jerry McGlothlin serves as the CEO of Special Guests, a publicity agency known for representing guests who are dedicated to helping preserve and advance our Constitutional Republic and maintaining a Judeo-Christian ethic.

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