Who could forget Peters Sellers' portrayal of three characters in the 1959 satirical film, The Mouse That Roared?

If you've never seen the film, you can see a remake of it by taking a trip to our Southern border.

There, millions of faux asylum-seekers are recreating the plot in living color, every single day, as they cross, illegally, and plant their feet in our soil.

In the 1959 film, the European Duchy of Grand Fenwick has fallen on hard times and is nearly bankrupt, due to competition to its sole export (a much sought-after wine) by a cheaper American version. Its heads of state, the Duchess Gloriana XII and the prime minister, Count Rupert Mountjoy, (both played by Sellers) are convinced that the only way out of their dilemma is to call upon Tully Bascomb, the Duchy's game warden. They promote him to Field Marshall and order him to set sail for America where he will attack it, full well knowing that Tully's 20 soldiers will be defeated.

After the pro-forma battle, they plan to quickly surrender and then reap the rewards, based on their knowledge of American generosity towards vanquished foes, thereby ensuring the future of the Duchy.

As with any good story, the plot takes a few twists and turns, but all's well that ends well. The Duchy is saved and everybody lives happily ever after until a mouse enters the scene. (By the way, the film cost $300K to make and grossed $2.2 million.) I'll leave it there and suggest that you find a copy and watch it.  

Unfortunately, there's another 'mouse that roared' story playing out in real time at our Southern border.

During the last three years, our country has laid out the welcome mat for millions of largely economic migrants who coughed up a few thousand dollars to coyotes (cartel-affiliated human smugglers) for a one-way ticket to the land of milk and honey from countries as far away as China (32,000 at last count from the People's Republic). And like the inhabitants of the Duchy of Grand Fenwick, they have surrendered and cashed in on our largesse.

The process is simple…

1. Pay the coyotes 

2. Leave home 

3. Travel through Mexico 

4. Illegally cross our border between official border crossing sites 

5. Find a U.S. Border Patrol officer 

6. Say you're an asylum-seeker, and give up.

After a little paperwork you will be released, put on a bus or plane and be sent to the destination of your choice (particularly if you have a contact or relative in the city you choose). If you've no one to room with, you will be offered a ride to a sanctuary city like Los Angeles or New York or Chicago of your choosing. The bus/plane ride is free and when you arrive at your destination, a Catholic charity or other NGO will give you money and food and the city will find you temporary housing. Some migrants will get work permits while others will take off-the-books jobs, become dependent on the charities or … resort to crime.

Migrants headed for California have won the asylum lottery and can enjoy free health care, free schooling for their children, temporary housing in hotels or other facilities, meals on wheels, or food stamps, and even sex change operations -- this in addition to a wonderful climate and a laid-back lifestyle. New York City and the Windy City arrivals will be offered much of the same swag but migrants will have to endure harsher temperatures, especially in the winter.

Sounds like a good gig, doesn't it?

Not every migrant is happy, however. Some choose a life of crime and biting the hand that feeds them by complaining about their accommodations and the unappetizing cuisine of the Estados Unidos' kitchens.

Hanging around migrant shelters is less exciting than the coyote promises of streets paved with gold, so some revert to the ways of their home-country shantytowns by assaulting the authorities. Just last week, migrants in New York attacked two policemen that were trying to detain a migrant lawbreaker. The cops were repeatedly punched and kicked and suffered multiple injuries. Only one migrant is in custody.

This is not a Broadway play like West Side Story where juvenile delinquents danced and sang out their frustrations to Officer Krupke ("Officer Krupke we're down on our knees. No one wants a fella with a social disease.") 

Indeed, while Americans in million-dollar homes in gated communities exude sympathy for these poor 'huddled masses yearning to breathe free' (at our expense), those in urban neighborhoods in big cities are fed up. They're angry about having their children's recreational facilities being turned into barracks for migrants. They're tired of having to navigate their way through throngs of migrants just 'hanging out' on their streets, some with larceny on their minds. Their anger has finally replaced their pity and they want relief so they're attending city council meetings and making their voices heard. They're protesting the failed policies of an administration that made all this possible by replacing what was working at the border under Donald Trump with Pollyanna'ish idealism. Some would say that it isn't idealism at all. Instead, it is the next step in the Left's plan to 'pack the census' with future Democrat-leaning voters who would, by their very presence enable certain states to get more elected representatives to carry their political water in D.C.

While this may sound cynical to some; it is becoming abundantly clear to many Americans that our current border chaos is proof positive that nothing politicians do is accidental and that goes for the border and anywhere else.

The Duchy of Grand Fenwick we're not, but we're getting there as fast as the debt clock can attest. Thirty-one trillion dollars and counting with ten million more mouths to feed is a recipe, but not one for success. To me, it sounds more like chronic denial topped with acid reflux.

Stephan Helgesen is a retired career U.S. diplomat who lived and worked in 30 countries for 25 years during the Reagan, G.H.W. Bush, Clinton, and G.W. Bush Administrations. He is the author of fourteen books, six of which are on American politics and has written over 1,300 articles on politics, economics and social trends. He operates a political news story aggregator website: www.projectpushback.com. He can be reached at: stephan@stephanhelgesen.com

Image: Screen shot from MovieSpoilerSite video, via YouTube