Hunter Biden is a man of many talents: he’s an energy expert serving the good folks at Burisma; he’s a reality television star of his own making, recounting his gritty and raw experiences digging old parmesan cheese shavings out of the carpet; he’s an accomplished artist with work that has defied all odds and raked in millions of dollars; he’s a keen business man who knows how to play hardball and can “cut” deals with people from all walks of life; he’s apparently secured membership at a very private, and very elite club known as Snctm; and, he’s even a comedian (a funny one at that)!

Just the other day, Hunter held a quick press conference outside Congress to iterate that Joe had “no involvement” in any business dealings to which Hunter was tied. AT contributor Patricia McCarthy wrote a superb essay, from another angle, found here, but I want to focus my attention on one specific line, because it was legitimately hilarious, via Yahoo News:

In his statement on Capitol Hill, Mr Biden Jr said: ‘For six years, MAGA Republicans, including members of the House committees who are in a closed-door session right now, have impugned my character, invaded my privacy, attacked my wife, my children, my family, and my friends.

‘They ridiculed my struggle with addiction, they belittled my recovery, and they have tried to dehumanise [sic] me – all to embarrass and damage my father, who has devoted his entire public life to service.

‘For six years, I have been the target of the unrelenting Trump attack machine, shouting: ‘Where’s Hunter?’ Well, here’s my answer: ‘I am here’.’

(Funny enough, he chickened out and didn’t actually appear for the subpoena.)

I’m sorry though—what? The guilty party in the Hunter saga, the one besmirching his character, violating his privacy, and harming his children is…MAGA Republicans? (Like I said, Hunter is obviously a comedian too.) This wasn’t an impromptu press conference, it was a stand-up routine! 

Yes, it was the MAGA Republicans… who forced him to pose in a jockstrap and aviators… who got him the job at Burisma… who placed the crack-pipe in his mouth, made him smoke it, then took his stoned picture in the bathtub… who ran the camera as he argued with a prostitute over illicit drugs… who made him impregnate a stripper while he was dating his dead brother’s wife… who forced him to abandon his own flesh and blood… who demanded he lie on federal forms to buy a firearm… who arranged little girls on him as he lay half-naked and supine on a couch… who snapped naked pictures of his little sausage in a kimono… who included his gross chubby buttcrack and bikini bandeau tan-line in a selfie showing off his Finger Lakes tattoo…

Buddy, you impugned your “character” (or complete lack of) all on your own.

And what recovery? Hasn’t this man been to Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous like, an absurd number of times? Don’t several of the steps require accountability for one’s own actions? Um yes, they do; from a recovery website:

Fully admit and take responsibility for the mistakes and wrongs you’ve made. Share these wrongs with others and openly admit the mistakes you made.

…

Continually self-monitor to determine if you’re doing the right thing. If you’re not, admit it and make changes.

It is all rather unsurprising though, because we know exactly where Hunter gets his “character.”

Image generated by AI.