Democracy is the most fickle of guests.  When you invite her to your party, you do so knowing that she will show up only if conditions are perfectly civilized.

She doesn't dine on despair, she won't drink a drop of deceit, and she can't sit at the table unless everyone is present.

She doesn't wear makeup or clothes she can't afford.  She's beautiful just the way she is, and she views everyone as equal, so there is no need to put on airs for her.

She won't tolerate gossips; she finds braggers a bore.  She prefers truthful folks who aren't pretending to be something they aren't.

She hates California, and it has nothing to do with dampness or cold weather, but rather how poorly government functions.

Wherever Democracy goes, you can bet her friends Liberty and Prosperity will follow.  This is also true when she leaves.

Unfortunately, Democracy is said to be in a lot of places she wouldn't deign to go.  Many parties have her on the guest list, places she has never been...like North Korea, the Pentagon, and CNN.

If everyone at your party is fighting, Democracy has already left.  Liberty and Prosperity will be hot on her heels.

Democracy doesn't do conflict in an uncivilized manner.  Democracy is conflict resolution; she doesn't take to other forms of conflict resolution at all.  She won't even be in the same room as war.  Not because she's a snob, but war creates conditions she can't exist in.

Democracy doesn't suffer a vegan menu.  Options are fine — that sort of compromise is expected — but indulgence and enablement need not invite her.  She won't show.

She's not going to be at your "pride" parade, because if you are having a pride parade, she knows she has done her job, and you aren't marginalized anymore.

She is a guest.  You don't own Democracy.  The second you start saying things like "our democracy," you've proven you not only don't understand Democracy, but don't know her at all.

Democracy doesn't do election-rigging, tampering, gerrymandering, or biased election coverage at all.  If anything like that is happening, Democracy ain't at that party.

What's that, you say?  Democracy wasn't invited to the party?  We invited her second cousin twice removed, Republic?

Ok...fine.  Republic doesn't stick around for election hijinks, either. 

Election hijinks are the exclusive domain of Dictatorship.  You know, the guy who wasn't invited to the party, but here he is anyway, wearing Democracy's clothing and driving Republic's car, talking about Liberty and Prosperity the whole time.

Democracy's name and picture are all the rage at a party that Dictatorship has crashed.  This is because Dictatorship always self-identifies as Democracy.  No one ever won an election offering up fascism for all, so Dictatorship finds being his authentic self impossible from a P.R. standpoint.

I've been watching the door of this party my whole life.  I don't think Democracy was ever here.  Liberty left in 1963.  I think actual Prosperity left shortly after.  

That heavily made up chick in the middle of the room that everyone has been calling Prosperity?  Yeah, that's not Prosperity.  That's Debt, her toothless cousin, and notice how big she's gotten.

Republic is getting her coat.  The girls she runs with left this party a long time ago.  And once she's gone, she's not coming back...because she's fickle, like her friends.

Image: JSMed via Pixabay, Pixabay License.