I'm not accepting the victim card anymore, from anyone, ever again.  Whatever pain you are dragging around from your "lived experience" doesn't interest me, just as mine shouldn't interest you.

Whoever bullied you, or dumped you, or didn't call you by your pronouns is of no concern to me.  I'm not a shrink, a therapist, or a talk show host, so I can't really do much for you.

Now, I'm not saying that if you are a victim in progress in front of me, that I won't help you...quite the opposite.  If I am first at the scene and you are injured, I will render as much aid as I can.  If someone is physically attacking you, I will try to intervene.  If you are drowning, I will risk my own life to save you.

But if you cut the line at Walmart and launch into hysterics about rape because some guy in line pointed out that you cut the line...or if you kick over a display at GameStop because someone called you "sir," I'm going to mock you, belittle you, and laugh at you. 

If you experience emotional incontinence in my proximity, it's likely to continue.  Because I am done hearing about how bad you've had it at the top of your lungs.  If you've been discriminated against, write the EEOC, because the 7-11 clerk isn't really in a position to do anything about it, and there is a line behind you.

I'm not your primary care physician; I don't want to hear about your health or lack thereof.  I don't need to know details of your complaints and ailments because I can't do anything about it, and I don't accept your insurance.

I don't care that you think you are a failure, that your parents ignored you, or that you don't see others who share your sexual proclivities on television.

If you are on television, on a movie screen, or hold political office, I definitely don't want to hear about how pathetic you think your life is or see your tears.  Once you are a member of the United States House of Representatives, you are no longer marginalized, oppressed, or discriminated against...you are the oppressor.

I'll not be participating in the language of stupid, either.  My pronouns are "me" and "I," just like everyone else's.  If you can't use the word "literally" correctly, I will use it incorrectly even more frequently than you do, just to mock you.

Inclusive victim language isn't something I'm going to be participating in, either.  I'm not going to be calling anyone a person of color, and things from the Orient are still going to be Oriental for me.  So long as Asia contains Russia and Iran, I still see a general distinction between the Orient and the rest of Asia that may not be as specific as to be Korean or Vietnamese.

I guess the above paragraph means I'm not going to be accepting the Race Card anymore, either.

What card will I accept?  Why, the American Success Card, of course!  It has a higher interest rate for me because it dwells in possibilities!  The Victim Card and the Race Card have low interest rates for me because they just dwell, and dwell, and dwell and are just so...narcissistic!

So...what's in your Smollett?

Graphic credit: Twitter.