Elon Musk's Twitter recently officially branded NPR "state-affiliated media."  The label is not only undeniably true, but probably an understatement.  Nonetheless, the designation predictably caused John Lansing, National Public Radio's CEO, to clutch his pearls and attempt to un-bunch his panties.

By way of reply, Lansing issued this laughably preposterous statement:

NPR and our Member stations are supported by millions of listeners who depend on us for the independent, fact-based journalism we provide. NPR stands for freedom of speech and holding the powerful accountable.

Now tell us the one about the three bears, John.  Sometimes Babylon Bee articles almost write themselves.

While the mainstream media have leaned liberal since Moby-Dick was a pup, it has recently gone full-on Marxist in lockstep with the Democrat party.  Nearly every outlet uses virtually the same phrases to denounce conservatives and further its agenda.

Guns bad.  Abortion rights good.  "Toxic masculinity" bad.  "Trans women" good.  Appropriation bad.  Men in women's locker rooms and bathrooms good.  Climate change bad.  Fundamentally transforming the United States good.  And on and on, ad infinitum.

The mainstream media will vociferously proclaim any conspiracy theory to be true, and any truth to be a conspiracy theory.  Doubt that?  They aggressively and shamelessly promoted the "Russian Collusion" fallacy for well nigh two years but reported that the Hunter Biden laptop story "had all the earmarks of Russian disinformation."  Then came their reporting on the coronavirus pandemic, and the subsequent mask, social-distancing, and vaccine mandates.  Etc., etc., etc.

ABC recently went so far as to blur out the front of the podium at which Donald Trump was delivering his post-indictment speech, so those watching couldn't see the number placed there for them to text if they wanted to receive official campaign notifications and updates.  Yet no network has ever deigned to prevent people from reading any message on any podium at which Joe Biden was speaking, before or after he became president.

If the Democrat party were to proclaim — tomorrow — that the Earth is flat, within minutes, MSNBC would solemnly aver, "The Earth is flat."  CNN would breathlessly announce, "The Earth is flat."  NBC would report, "The Earth is, indeed, flat."  CBS would cry, "Turns out the Earth is flat."  ABC would declare: "The science is now settled.  The Earth is flat."

The New York Times would run a front-page banner headline, above the fold, stating unequivocally, "Experts Say Earth Is Flat, Far-Right Flat-Earth Deniers a Danger to Humanity."  The Washington Post would run with "Far-Right Flat-Earth Deniers a Danger to Humanity, Experts Say."

If former President Trump — and his roughly 75 million supporters — disagreed with the now conventional wisdom that the Earth is flat, the media would haughtily sniff: "Trump's baseless claim that the Earth is not flat is part of 'The Big Lie' which he and his radical-right supporters traffic in and expound."

Mainstream journalists would report that "far-right Republicans cling to their long-debunked belief that the Earth is round."  

The "ladies" on The View would say something like, "Whacko conspiracy theorists on the right claim that the Earth isn't flat.  But that ship has long since sailed.  It is an irrefutable fact that it is as flat as a pancake that Donald Trump sat on."  (The ladies would then smirk and giggle.)

The mainstream media are indeed "state-affiliated" when Democrats reign.  It would more properly be termed "Deep State–affiliated" when they don't.

Unfortunately, "fake news" is all too real.

Mainstream media outlets have made themselves a joke.

Albeit a bad one.