In a bid to garner the all-important pothead vote for Democrats in November, Joe Biden has offered a mass pardon to those convicted of marijuana possession, which includes people who done time in prison for it. Forget whether such felons were busted for possessing a single joint, a VW bus containing several 100-lb. bales of weed, or enough acres of Sensimilla to give the entire city of Albuquerque a buzz.

They’re all free now, assuming they can find the prison exits.

But sadly, Crusty Joe’s plan to drag stoners kicking and screaming into the big Democrat circus tent suffers from several flaws.

Flaw One is that most marijuana offenders are in jail based on state or local charges. Imagine what they must be thinking, sitting in the town hoosegow after getting busted with a single joint and watching their dealer on TV, strutting out of a federal prison flashing the peace sign, an ear-to-ear grin, and enough bling to pay off a mortgage. Biden’s naked bid to buy votes succeeds only in freeing the big boys in the pot trade, while the small fry in local lockups remain incarcerated.

Flaw #2 is that Crusty Joe’s feigned compassion for potheads shines a rather unfavorable light on the law enforcement career of his affirmative action vice president. In 2019, Kammy the Incomprehensible told a radio audience that not only had she smoked pot in college, but unlike former president Bill Clinton, she’d also inhaled it. “I did inhale it!” she elaborated, “And it was a joint.” What, are we to believe that, back in the day, there were no bongs at Howard University?

Kammy further explained that her favorite choice of music to listen to while high was Snoop Dogg and Tupac Shakur. Well, that must have been some truly good s—t she smoked in her college dorm room since neither artist had yet recorded anything.

So, why was Harris weaving Biden-like yarns about catching a buzz and digging tunes that hadn’t yet been written while in college? That’s easy. To take attention away from her prior vocation of sending massive numbers of stoners up the river as the attorney general of California.

It's been reported that Clueless Kammy sent 1,974 Californians to prison for various weed offenses. And since blacks are greatly overrepresented when it comes to drug offenses, we can only conclude that Harris is the very worst kind of racist: a white supremacist of color.

And since, based on her speeches as V.P., Kammy has contempt for verbs, an aversion to syntax, and no idea what an antecedent is or how to spell it, we must also conclude that Harris now gets high all the time. Either that, or she’s a blithering idiot.

Of course, the fatal flaw in Crusty Joe’s half-baked plan to get the Cheeches and Chongs of America to vote Democrat this fall is this:

{Imagine this in Sam Kinnison’s voice}

They’re potheads! Stoners! Dope fiends!

They don’t vote, heck, they barely leave their rooms! They get high, listen to tunes, and watch Cinemax After Dark. The only thing they leave their room for is to use the john or buy more beer!

They work jobs like selling comic books, re-stringing guitars, and demonstrating how vapes work, and they’re high as a kite while on the job.

They forget birthdays, lose their keys, sport sad beards, and get arrested for doing 17 in a 60mph zone!

They can’t tell you their high school grades, not because they were bad---simply because they can’t remember them! They say “Wow!” and “Far out!” a lot, and address everyone as “Hey, man.” Like, “Hey, man, you’re harshing my buzz!” or “Hey, man, you got any Oreo’s?”

No, The Democrats currently ruining our country will get no extra votes simply by freeing stoners, druggies, and dope fiends. The Dems’ only hope to gain the pothead vote is to play Snoop and Tupac at the polls and hand out free boxes of Oreo’s and glasses of milk.

Oddly enough, Oreo’s and milk are Crusty Joe’s favorite snack.

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