The IRS hiring 87,000—no make that 86,852—more enforcement agents is providing delightful grist for the snark mill. Tweets abound on the fact that they’re looking for someone to wield deadly force in the course of their daily work. Once the ridicule started, the job ad was deleted, edited, then reposted. The position description, however, did not change.

Maybe a couple thousand more agents could be justified for squeezing out another one or two percent of the approximately 4% of owed taxes not paid each year; but not close to 100,000 of them. So, the Biden Administration and its congressional and media lapdogs are lying to us about why those extra agents are needed. Setting that question aside for the moment, though, let’s have some fun.

Where will they find these agents? The CDC, Randi Weingarten and the teachers’ unions, panicked blue state leadership, and college administrators all have conspired to create a nearly lost generation. Poor, disrupted schooling due to COVID for two years is partly to blame. DIE sensibilities crashing through our educational rooftop like a stray asteroid have done the rest. Reducing the number of Asians attending the more prestigious colleges on behalf of those not thoroughly prepared to make the best use of such an opportunity is just one example.

Image: The tools an IRS agent needs (edited) by rawpixel.

IRS agents are almost all accountants, as are IRS criminal investigators (i.e., the enforcers). To be one requires a degree or its equivalent, including a minimum of 24 semester hours of accounting and at least another six hours in law, economics, statistical/quantitative methods, computerized accounting, or finance. Being a Certified Public Accountant meets this minimum standard. Failing to understand that two plus two always equals four and that on this rock is built the foundation of all taxation to support all governmental operations, would appear to disqualify one for such a position. Gender studies won’t cut it.

So, the wokies are creating a public-schooled generation that will be unable either to gather or manage the funds to pay for the tsunami of government goodies the wokies demand. Ha ha ha ha ha! Delicious irony!

What sort of people is the IRS looking for? Only those who can pass the orientation and training programs required to be an agent for the IRS. The full curriculum is here. Investigative techniques and specialized training in tax law and taxation provide the general body of knowledge needed.

“Critical thinking skills, with the underlying emphasis on core values, in a problem solving training environment” are practiced extensively. That’s why the job requires experience in the “exercise of tact, initiative, ingenuity, resourcefulness and judgment in collecting, assembling, and developing facts, evidence and other pertinent data through investigative techniques which included personal interview.”

Core values! Exercise of tact! Assembling facts! Oh my! That certainly excludes the humble snowflake for whom every single thing is fluid and all about their precious selves. Left out, too, are all those who think screaming at local authorities, or just old ladies holding signs on the sidewalk, is acceptable public discourse.

What about the guns? Well, sometimes IRS agents are called on to provide armed protective duty for persons and property and to serve search warrants in highly dangerous environments. Training is provided for that, as well as for weaponless combat and team combat. Physical fitness to endure arduous exertion, as well as good hearing and corrected vision, are necessary for selection, as is emotional and mental stability. This knocks out of the running the pear-shaped people living their lives online. So too the youngsters who insist on general recognition and acquiescence to their ever-changing pronouns, gender preferences, racial categorizations, and sexual identities über alles.

So, who’s left who can qualify for such a hard, dangerous, intellectually challenging career? That’s right. The younger cadre among We the People.

The ones who passed this bill, and who have their own plans for these enforcement agents once brought on board, expect us to offer up our young to do their dirty work. For the blood to be on our hands, and the moral outrage to fall on our heads. Are you awake? Paying attention yet? Can you see it now?

I am proud of my service to my country. There certainly are federal positions that would not require soul-killing legal enforcement such as this. Let’s steer our children away from such tasks and help them make career choices they will love to carry out.

Anony Mee is the nom de blog of a retired public servant.