Recently, social media companies have come under attack for promoting engagement on their platforms that stokes anger and hatred among their customers.  The more contentious posts are given broader exposure in news feeds.  This vitriol leads to higher profits for the companies and more division in our society.

If we had personal communication with those with differing views, we could calm down and reason things out.  We are brilliant at getting along when we talk face-to-face since we are social creatures who must live together.

I played baseball into my 50s, and I enjoy watching my youngest son play what has been called our national pastime.  I watch the parents, too, because it is fascinating how people react to different situations, especially involving their children.  I have seen parents lose control and make spectacles of themselves, even verbally attacking some of the young players.  I have also seen great sportsmanship and kindness.  Recently, on a very hot southern California day, I sat dutifully in my fold-up chair, watching my son play the game both he and I love.  I saw an African-American couple arrive and set up their chairs farther away from the rest of the parents.  I overheard the man say: "That white boy over there."  He seemed to be looking at me.  I was not sure if he was referring to me or some other parent, but all the other parents were Hispanic, so I assumed it was I.  I was not sure what I should say or do if anything.  I let it go, but it bothered me.

The next game, they were again sitting by themselves.  I decided to engage them in conversation.  I made a few amusing observations and comments, and the man responded in kind.  We had a few laughs.  As we left, I said goodbye, and he reciprocated.  Since then, I greet them when they arrive and always make a point to talk to them.  What would have happened had I responded immediately with anger when I thought he called me "white boy"?  Maybe he was not talking about me; maybe he was speaking from a perspective of personal pain from his life.  I do not know his history and what life is like for him.  I do not know what he has been through, and he does not know what I have been through.  The only information he and I knew for sure was that he was black, I was white, and we both had sons playing on the same team.

Social media tend to isolate people even though they are connected.  An incident like this on social media could have blown up since the people involved would not be face-to-face.  When you are isolated, you are insulated from body language, facial expression, and other non-verbal cues.

The truth is, I do not know why he said what he did, and jumping to conclusions about it could create conflict.  Another thing I know for sure is that we are both human beings deserving respect.  The rest we can learn only through interaction with each other.

At subsequent games, we have shared friendly exchanges, and he and his wife have now started sitting with the other parents, who are also engaging them.  How many times could bad situations have been de-escalated by simply reaching out and talking to people in a kind, respectful, and gentle manner?

Baseball is said to no longer be our national pastime because it is too slow and not exciting enough.  I suppose it does not fit into the world of social media connected at lightning speed through the internet.  It harkens back to a simpler time.  But maybe we need to slow down a bit and enjoy the sunshine and the grass on a lazy Sunday afternoon to replenish our souls.

My mom always said you should not judge someone unless you walk a mile in their shoes.  By keeping love in our hearts and operating from a position of love, we can breach the divide that separates us.  If calling me "white boy" was meant to be derogatory, he now knows that is not who I am, because I responded with kindness and understanding, and we learned from each other.  We must all stand up for our humanity and be resilient to social media manipulation and not give in to hate.

Image: PxHere

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