Teen Vogue recently published an op-ed by columnist Kandist Mallett in which she declared that no one should have the right to own property. She called for the elimination of landlords while averring that “an eviction crisis is coming” due to the coronavirus pandemic’s heavy toll on the United States, which, she says, is evidence of “the failures of capitalism.”

Mallett noted that “The pandemic didn’t create this housing crisis, but it did further expose the cruelty of payment-based housing.” No, but she herself may have just exposed the futility of payment-based higher education.

She rambled on: “Instead of seeing housing as a right and something that should not be commodified, the state enlists its own armed forces—sheriffs and police—to remove occupants from residences if they cannot pay rent. The lack of protections for non-landowners should be to no surprise from a country founded on the genocide and colonization of indigenous peoples.”

Mallett ended by stating, “We need a housing movement based on a rejection of the construct that any one person should own this earth’s land.” Stupefy-ingly, Teen Vogue took to Twitter to tout the piece with an excerpt reading, “While we’re working to abolish the police, we must also work to dismantle what the police were put here to protect: property.” Why is a fashion magazine aimed at teenage girls espousing policy prescriptions to the left of Mao Zedong?  We must work to dismantle property? If the number of young folks currently burning buildings and toppling statues is any indication, the online rag has some readership--- and some influence. Or maybe it’s just catching up to what has already occurred and is making an attempt to seem “cool” and “woker-than-thou.”

No doubt Mallett thinks food and clothing should also be freed from the cruelty of the current payment-based market system. Commodities should not be commodified, comrade! Of course, that might make hypocrites of the fine folks at Teen Vogue. Not that its readers would notice. If ignorance were a virtue, they would all be Mother Teresas.

If queried, I’m certain Mallett would say that birth control should be free for all, too. “Oh, and sex toys like vibes and things.”

In its next issue, Teen Vogue will surely call for the abolishment of life and liberty, “both mere constructs evolved from white, patriarchal privilege.”

Has to catch up with the Democratic Party, you know.

Photo Illustration by Monica Showalter with use of public domain image. Original colorization by Olga Klimbim. Image enhanced with FotoSketcher.