I'll say this for the Biden-Harris-Obama ticket: it has a complete monopoly on foolishness this election cycle.  Forty percent of Americans believe Biden to be suffering from dementia, and sixty percent don't believe he'll survive a full term as president, but he still answers policy questions more lucidly than his chosen successor.  

When Old Joe can't answer a question, he gets mean, screams obscenities, and begins shaking his fist.  When Kamala Harris can't answer a question, she grins like a Cheshire cat and starts whooping and giggling as if she's part of Hillary Clinton's hyena pack.  Asking them a question together will be like watching a pair of psychotics riding a Ritalin overdose to the moon.  

Harris strongly believes Biden to be a serial abuser of women but will do everything in her power to elevate the hair-sniffing predator to groper-in-chief.  Biden can't remember Harris's name without looking down at his notes but will do anything that the "clean and articulate" black man standing beside him demands.  Biden is so lost in the past that he has no idea where he is; Harris's past is so sketchy that she can't tell us where she's been.  They're such a mixed bag of lunacy and screechiness that they make the Democrats' last nominee for president look downright steady and sober.  

Isn't Kamala Harris just Hillary Clinton 2.0 with fewer years?  If Hillary's inauthenticity and lack of charm could be bottled into a perfume, there's no doubt Kamala would reek of it.  Hillary's a congenital liar with a "credibly accused" rapist for a husband; Kamala's a congenital liar with a "credibly accused" molester as a running mate.  Hillary has never run into a setback she can't blame on her sex; Kamala has never run into a setback she can't fix with sexual favor.  Hillary used the Lincoln Bedroom for cheap campaign cash; Kamala used Willie Brown's bedroom for cheap campaign counseling.  Hillary likes to get up before black audiences and steal their accent; Kamala likes to get up before black audiences and steal their history.  In a Venn diagram of Americans who find both women appealing, the overlap would consist entirely of Rob Reiner and whoever's chained up in Rob Reiner's basement.

Kamala, who was raised in Berkeley, California, by highly educated parents from India and Jamaica, claims that her most painful childhood memories involve the agony of surviving Joe Biden's segregationist busing policies.  That vivid memory of Berkeley as the hotbed of racial strife in America so scarred the young Harris that she made locking up indigent black defendants for small-time marijuana offenses a big part of her prosecutorial career once in power.  For his part, Biden has no recollection of publicly advocating for segregated schooling but does remember being an integral part of America's storied civil rights movement.  (He was not.)  So one member of the Biden-Harris ticket believes he was marching with MLK Jr., and the other believes she barely survived the Jim Crow era in the South.  Only the Democrats could steal other peoples' legacies, cover them with hot sauce, and make them their own for electoral gain.  Biden can't remember palling around with Dixiecrats, but Harris can remember how difficult it was to survive the slums of Stanford's faculty housing.  

Whenever I hear Biden or Harris talk about their long struggles in support of the black community, all I hear is Steve Martin's voice from The Jerk solemnly declaring, "I was born a poor black child."  If Biden's decades of pushing criminal legislation targeting "super predators" on the streets and Harris's years of building a "tough on crime" reputation at the expense of blacks who couldn't afford representation in court serve as their best arguments for black Americans' support, then they have no good argument at all.  

Black Americans were left poorer during the Obama-Biden years; they have seen the greatest economic growth in history during Donald Trump's presidency.  While Biden's record on race has always been a mixed bag, Donald Trump's presidency has actively sought to lift America's black community by revising criminal sentencing, bringing industrial manufacturing back home, and providing an open door to the White House itself.  Only a fraud could look at President Trump's successes for black Americans and see a racist, while standing next to a former segregationist (who worked with the Clintons to incarcerate more black males than at any other time in American history) and praising him as a true friend to black Americans everywhere.  

For Democrats, fraud is always the name of the game.  If you can't pretend to be for the people while actively working against them, then you can't rightly be a Democrat at all.  For that reason alone, Kamala Harris might be Joe Biden's most natural successor.  They're both empty suits who passionately advocate for whatever cause is in fashion while cashing checks from masters, not voters.  On Biden's forehead, there's a stamp that says "Made in China"; on Harris's forehead, there's a stamp that says "Made in George Soros's Basement." 

The most amazing thing about either one's success is that they've managed to get so far by doing so little.  They stand for nothing and believe in less.  It's a match made in Soros-Xi heaven.  

The good news for Democrats is that Harris can fill Biden's small shoes just as soon as Barack Obama decides to unplug Old Joe for good.  It must be tough for Obama to keep a Supreme Court justice, a speaker of the House, and a former vice president all alive long enough to regain power.  His record with Obamacare and inciting race riots has always more naturally lent itself to death and destruction.  Turning funerals into political rallies has been more his thing.  Come November 3, he'll have plenty of political rallies to plan.  

Hat tip to Martin Oxman.