On Wednesday, Gretchen Whitmer called a press conference to address the request from her husband, Marc Mallory — Mr. Gretchen Whitmer — to have his boat pushed to the front of a marina's docking list.  Basically, Gretchen claims that her husband is just a funny guy, and the appeal to and mention of her position as governor was an even further attempt at humor.

I'm waiting for her to release an audiotape of him calling random numbers and asking people if their refrigerator is running.

The governor has personal problems of her own.  She says there are unmasked marauders standing outside her picture window, brandishing AK-47s and other dreaded assault weapons.  Apparently, her security team is as inept at spotting threats as she is at running an economy or a nursing home because there have been no reports of anyone being arrested or detained upon such a charge.

Well, she is a liberal, and "scaredy cat" is her personal credo.

Poor Gretchen wants you to know she too has faced pain; her daughter's prom was canceled.

Yeah, but no one canceled your livelihood, Gretchen.

I know a man who owned a music store eight short weeks ago, but it's gone now.  He cried and cried as his life's work went down the drain. 

He didn't have a boat sitting in a marina that he could sell to make a mortgage payment.

I guess Mallory's joke was on him.

But Gretchen, she's got all the trappings.  She's even got a personal emoji to stand behind her and make grotesque faces at the mention of gun-toting citizenry.

Life is pretty good for a governor who spends 24/7 saving her overindulgent corner of the world while destroying everybody else's small slice of the pie.

In Michigan, many people are referring to Gretchen as "halfwit."

That seems overgenerous on their part.