We seem to have got into the wrong universe by accident.  We really should be in the one where the medical profession is broadly educated and gives us good advice.  Let us not speak of the food pyramid and other shining examples; let us rather speak of the world's best epidemiologists.  And let me speak very briefly about bars — the kind of place where people get drunk and do rash things.

Experimental data are quite clear that respiratory viruses are spread by respiration.  Sick people exhale little droplets of water that contain the virus.  Other people breathe them in or touch surfaces where they have alighted and then touch their faces.  So far, so good — from the virus point of view.

Experimental data are quite clear that coughing helps this process along — more than somewhat.  But it is known by a select few that the reason coughing is bad news is that it makes the vocal cords rattle, and this produces droplets to beat the band.  More than that, they are large droplets and tend not to evaporate quickly.  Bad news.

Can we imagine a worse situation than a room full of people, all of whom are busy coughing for hours on end?  No slacking, keep coughing.

Well, yes, we can.  It is known that speaking loudly is about twice as bad as coughing for droplet production.  Shouting is worse.  So imagine that we take a room full of people — generally somewhat jam-packed — and keep them in a room for some hours and then say they have to take turns shouting in each other's faces.  This is called a bar.

Bingo.  But why do the talking head experts go on and on and not mention this?  Wrong universe.