If a novelist were to come up with the idea of a prince marrying a commoner of very common stock, and then the commoner taking the prince of some high-born house down some low road and away from all he knew, it wouldn't be...utterly far-fetched.

There is, after all, an old Irish folk ballad called "Raggle Taggle Gypsy" that I recall singing in elementary school, about some high-born lady being paid a visit by "the raggle taggle gypsy" (or gypsies), who, according to the lyrics, pulls off her silk-trimmed dress, puts on leather-o, and runs off with the gypsy for reasons unknown, as her heartbroken lord of the manor tries to stop her and then rides east and west and more to seek her out and find out why she'd cast aside her privileged life of luxury for the hideous rigors of the impoverished gypsy camp.  The lord of the manor eventually finds the woman and asks why she would do this, only to be rebuffed, and then leaves heartbroken at his loss.  It's a ballad, after all.  I found this Irish folk band that did a pretty credible rendition of it:

So far, it rather does sound like the ballad of Harry and Meghan, ditching their life of royalty, in a sad bid to pursue Meghan's wish to go back to the glitzy no-holds barred hogwallow of Hollywood, the life of red carpets and popping flash bulbs.  More money, of course, too, but textbook vulgarity by even American standards.  Harry and Meghan are, after all, following the Kardashian model as they seek their "more independent life," not joining the world of respectable burghers with 9 to 5 jobs, but selling themselves as a 'lifestyle brand' on the Internet, putting themselves out there, and selling swag with their famous names on it as well, all famous for being famous.  The Sussex Royal line, if it goes online, has among other things a selection of hoodies with the royal seal.  Gack.

And like the lord of the manor in the ballad, the whole thing leaves a brokenhearted and disappointed royal family in Britain behind.

What throws the ballad impressively off, though, is the appearance of someone unexpected into the mix.  Imagine if family members of the raggle-taggle gypsy came out of the woodwork and in a coda to the story blasted the silk-trimmed-dress lady of the manor as a homewrecker and denounced what she'd done to the lord of the manor.  Imagine the expression on the lord's face!

That's approximately what we see with the spectacle of Meghan's family rolling back into the spotlight, blasting her, first for betraying her own family, and then going and doing the same thing to the British royal family as if they were equals, (which on human terms, they are), all for that Hollywood lifestyle.  You can bet the queen of England didn't see that coming and would be taken aback.

Meghan Markle's sister, Samantha, penned an op-ed in the Sun this week, expressing just that.

MY sister has ripped through the Royal Family like a tornado.

With this historic institution close to collapse, we have to ask whether peace can really be found.

The statements from Buckingham Palace and the Queen showed the Royal Family want to repair the damage.

There is no doubt that the decision of Prince Harry and Meghan to quit their duties so soon after their fairytale wedding has done great harm.

It would have been better if discord had never been sown.

Meghan knew the social requirements of joining the Royal Family. She should have asked herself if she was willing and able to behave in accordance with the expectations.

Who's the toxic one?

Her Majesty's words show great diplomacy but Meghan's behaviour has so far not been diplomatic. A diplomat wouldn't fall out with her own family.

Her friends leaked negative comments about the "toxic" Royal Family. She also allowed damage to be done against our family via friends and PR advisers.

We're no longer in ballad-land, Toto; this is Eumenides territory.  Except it's funny.

After all, whodathunk the queen's loudest advocate, her Firm's most articulate champion of British royal values, would be coming from the family of the common bounder herself down in burger-land, (not burgherland, where respectable people live, but burger-land. where the dreaded hamburger-eaters live) -- in some place in Los Angeles?  Who could have expressed what the queen must be thinking quite as well as Samantha did, that appeal to tradition, to family values, to that regal life of service, that supposedly Americans, especially the ones in El Lay, happy in their consumer cups, would presumably know nothing about?  This isn't exactly someone she's in contact with or ever will ever be, so it wasn't a matter of favors exchanged. The odd thing was, it was her best voice.

And sure enough, it came on the heels of Meghan's rejected old shambling father who defended the royals and denounced Meghan earlier.  I'm waiting for some of her exes to pop out of the woodwork now. 

Sometimes reality (TV?) is wilder than fiction.  You can't make this stuff up.  God save the queen.

Image credit: Northern Ireland Office, CC BY-SA 2.0.