Here is the difference between conservative and liberal government, explained through a football analogy.

Gentlemen, I'm a conservative referee.  By now, you all should know the rules of the game.  In fact, we expect and depend on you to know the rules of the game.  It's you whom the game is about, and it's you who will be enjoying the spoils of victory or the agony of defeat.

My fellow referees are best relegated to the periphery of the field.  The less involved we are, the better the game will progress.  Who wants a bunch of starts and stops, delays and penalties with yellow flags all over the field?  The less we are involved, the smoother the game will proceed for everyone.  We expect you to know your position and all the rules that apply.

Football is a violent game, and we are necessary to enforce the rules and make sure there's a level playing field.  But in the end, the game is about you, not us.  We don't play the game; you do.  We're here only to make sure it's played in such a way that everyone has the chance to win.

You're responsible for your failure or success on the field of play.  The more we have to be involved, the less productive the game will be, and the slower it will move for everyone.  The game was designed to minimize our existence.  Play hard and play fair, and our presence will be minimal and our footprints light.

Gentlemen, I will now flip the coin.  Call heads or tails in the air.  Heads it is!  Shake hands, and let's have a good, clean game.

Gentlepersons, I am a liberal referee.  We know there's no way you are smart enough to know the rules of the game.  We are here to tell you what the rules mean and how they will be enforced.  My fellow liberal referees will be involved on every play and in between plays.  We will be in your huddles, telling you what play to call.  We will tell you what's fair and if you're playing too hard.  If you're an offensive guard but feel like a wide receiver, let us know.  Your coach doesn't have the right to tell you where to play or what you really feel on the inside.

We understand that football is a violent game and that if a player doesn't like our rules and gets angry, he may use his helmet as a weapon and inflict serious damage on us.  Therefore, we will be taking your helmets before the game begins.  We realize that the original drafters of the rules spoke about helmets, but the rules of the game are living and breathing and must change with the times.  There's no way a group of old white guys who have been dead for hundreds of years could possibly know what a helmet is for today.  If you don't feel comfortable just handing your helmet over to one of the liberal referees, we will consider buying them, but rest assured: if you insist on keeping your helmet, we will ensure that you don't play the game.

We also know how important the quarterback is to each team.  He leads the offense and is the authority figure on the field and in the huddle.  There's no way you're competent enough to decide on your own who you want your quarterback to be.  If you choose a quarterback we don't agree with, my fellow liberal referees and I will find a rule that your quarterback has broken, and we will remove him from the field.  If your next choice doesn't suit us, we will find another rule and ensure that that quarterback breaks it as well, and he will be removed from the field.  Again, we know that the original drafters said each team could choose their own quarterback, but times change, and we have to change with them.

Gentlepersons, the game is ultimately about us.  We need you to need us in order for us to keep our jobs.  We love our lucrative salaries and lifetime benefits.  We don't play a down or suffer the tribulations on the field, but we still get paid.  The more dependent we can make you on us, the more secure our jobs will be.

Gentlepersons, I have here a coin.  I will flip it into the air and call heads or tails for you.  Tails it is!  Shake hands, and let's have a good, dependent game.