Manspreading, incels, mansplaining, all derogatory terms designed to unman adult males, and make us feel like something other than what we are, men! The feminist community has taken it upon themselves to construct a jargon to systematically take away our manhood. Feminists are employing vocabulary, spin, and euphemism to define men from their myopic positions and worldviews.

On a New York City train or bus, one must often jockey for position in order to maintain a spot, either seated or standing, on public transportation. No one in New York City enjoys the crowded rush hour traffic, congested roadways, and least of all on a Monday morning. At times, if you’re lucky enough, the transit gods might smile upon you and you might be able to secure a seat for your ride into Manhattan. Oftentimes men sit with their legs spread wide apart causing discomfort for other riders, feminists call this manspreading, I call it sitting like a man. It’s okay to be a bit territorial, and in New York City you have to make sure to hold onto what’s yours, even if it’s just a seat on a brief train ride.

Another perfect example of the modern-day castration befalling men is the use of the term, mansplain. Essentially, the term represents the explanation of a concept by a man to a woman. Why is it such a travesty to convey information from a person of one sex to a person of another sex? When did it become such a problem for men to converse using their own well-thought-out opinions and beliefs? When feminists decided to implement keyword castration, that’s when.

Most troubling in the gender vocab wars are the curious cases of incels, or men who consider themselves involuntary celibate. These men have been unmanned and brainwashed by liberal feminists into creating a jargon for emasculating themselves. The self-proclaimed incels consider themselves so unlikeable to the opposite sex that they’ve labeled themselves as “others,” undateable and without hope, but the truth is they simply haven’t been able to find someone yet.

We’ve reached the climactic battle in the gender wars, where men want to be women and vice versa, men can’t speak or think like men anymore, and we’ve chosen to fall on our swords instead of defending our manhood. To the survivors, I simply say, press forward, chest out, and be a man.   

Tom Copper is a pseudonym.