When did Russia convince you to vote for Trump?
Like most readers, I was a strong supporter of Hillary Clinton until I fell for the propaganda coming out of Russia that convinced me to switch my support to Donald Trump. It was the steady stream of false news from Russia that fooled me into switching my vote, and I suspect that it was the same for a lot of people. Below are some of the most widely distributed false stories peddled by Russia, either anti-Hillary or pro-Trump, that I suspect moved the most votes:
1) Hillary planned to paint the White House pink and to strap thousands of sanitary pads around the marble pillars at the front entrance, creating enormous phallic cotton swabs as a tribute to femininity nationwide.
2) Hillary planned to increase taxes on men by 56%.
3) Hillary planned to make a peace deal with ISIS and even to hire some of its members to work in the civil rights division of the Justice Department.
4) Hillary's slogan "I'm with her" was actually a secret reference to Huma Abedin and Hillary's future divorce plans.
5) Hillary Clinton planned to move our embassy out of Israel and into the Upper West Side of Manhattan, "clearly uncontested territory."
6) Hillary Clinton is actually Michelle Obama in whiteface.
7) Hillary had Huma Abedin liquidate Antonin Scalia, posing as room service, using her poison ring injector.
8) Hillary planned to legalize all aliens in the country, as well as the entire populations of Mexico, Guatemala, El Salvador, Nicaragua, and Yemen, to give Democrats a decisive voting advantage in future elections.
9) Hillary planned to declare herself empress, abolish the House of Representatives, and replace the Senate with an Imperial Senate answerable only to her.
10) After the election, Hillary planned to formally switch genders. She had already selected the name "Ralph."
11) As president, Donald Trump planned to have the U.S. Navy sink all container ships from China until they play fair.
12) As president, Donald Trump not only plans to stop Muslim immigration, but also plans put into place a special tax on hijabs and burkas. Not only will Trump stop Muslim immigration, but he will make Islamists pay for it.
13) In front of Trump's border wall, as a further deterrent, he plans to release packs of hungry dogs who have been purposefully starved for days.
14) Under Trump's plan, big business leaders who ship jobs out of the country will themselves be deported to Syrian refugee camps in Germany and France.
So what Russian hacking or propaganda convinced you to vote against Hillary? Let us know in the comments section!
Ed Straker is the senior writer at NewsMachete.com. Yes, this is satire.