This Christmas, there are feminists torturously misinterpreting iconic holiday songs in an effort to suggest that the threat of pneumonia, meddlesome maiden aunts, and the promise of another cigarette is all that is required to convince a female to surrender her virtue to a pushy male suitor.  For the rest of us, Christmas or no Christmas, one naked corpse without a head and genitals is all that is needed to convey a clear message.

For instance, take the body of the headless unemployed roofer, from McAlester, Oklahoma, discovered in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

That castrated corpse, the one without the head, belonged to Clifford Miller.  Miller won’t be home for Christmas this year because the 42-year-old’s moldering remains were discovered quartered and scattered around a Walmart parking lot.

The divorced father of three children, one of whom died in a car accident, left his family two months ago to seek out work in New Mexico.  Homicide detectives are unsure whether or not decapitation was the cause of Clifford’s death, but they believe that his body was dumped there after he was murdered.

Speaking on behalf of Miller’s oldest daughter and ex-wife, Chandel Fults, the dead man’s ex-sister-in-law, said she was unsure why the longtime employee of a roofing company was in Albuquerque looking for work. 

However, what is known is that Miller had a less than stellar work portfolio.  According to criminal records, in the past, the unemployed roofer was charged with multiple misdemeanors and felony possession of marijuana, and in the 1990s, he had spent time cultivating marijuana.

Fults said this about her ex-brother-in-law: “I don’t see him as a person that this could actually happen to.  He was goofy; he wasn’t into drugs or anything.  He was a good guy.”

After all, everyone knows that just like “goofy” teenage murderers who chop off heads for cartel drug lords, individuals who spend years cultivating and selling marijuana are usually “good guys” who are not “into drugs.”

And while no arrests have been made in Clifford’s death thus far, Albuquerque Police Department public information officer Fred Duran didn’t want to “speculate whether [Clifford’s murder] was related to a cartel or … just a random incident.”

So, in other words, Fred doesn’t know whether marijuana grower/pothead Miller was executed and mutilated by a drug cartel operative.  However, Vox  “general interest news site” contributor Emily Crockett does seem pretty sure that the Christmas song “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” is “a little rapey?”

This brings the discussion back around to how, while people shopped for LED Christmas lights, a headless, ball-less corpse ended up in a Walmart parking lot, which, in some circles, is a clear sign that a drug cartel hit was likely responsible for Clifford Miller’s death.  

Remember Edgar Jimenez Lugo, aka “El Ponchis”?

Lugo is now a 20-year-old former cartel member who, at 14 years of age, spent his time traveling back and forth from San Diego to Mexico committing drug-war decapitations and genital dismemberments. 

American-born El Ponchis, which translated means “The Cloaked One,” earned $3,000 per hit removing heads and surgically renovating crotches, after which he and his sister dug unmarked graves and buried mutilated remains.

The contract killer murdered his first victim at 11 years old.  At 14, while on the run from authorities, the U.S. anchor baby went to Mexico, where he killed a student, a university cook, a gas station attendant, and a small business owner.  Then, after decapitating his victims and detaching their manhood from their nether regions, Edgar strung the four disfigured bodies from a bridge in Cuernavaca, a tourist destination just south of Mexico City.

Finally, after he was captured in 2010, the slithery El Ponchis was incarcerated and then set free in 2013, one week shy of serving three years. 

Guadalupe Valencia, a San Diego criminal defense attorney with extensive experience in immigration and extradition proceedings, said that after his release, the boy faced zero obstacles coming back into the United States.  At the time, Valencia explained that “[Edgar] can come live here when he turns 18 without any supervision. The US can’t do anything, and Mexico cannot do anything[.] ... He wasn’t charged with conspiracy in the US.”

So, after being detained for a few years in a juvenile detention center in the central Mexican state of Morelos, El Ponchis has spent the last three Christmases a free man.  Since 2013, the impish little cutthroat has been happily roaming the streets of America doing the jobs that ex-assassins, born into violent households, to drug-addicted illegal immigrant parents, are more than happy to do.

That’s why, in hopes of possibly procuring a vintage CD of Dean Martin singing that “rapey” Christmas song “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” there’s no telling whether or not Edgar was in Walmart at the same time Clifford Miller was perhaps trying to infiltrate the New Mexico marijuana market.

Either way, if Clifford’s head and crotch had an unfortunate holiday encounter with a machete, then so be it.  This year, there are more pressing issues to address, such as parsing an old Christmas song some people believe suggests that to avoid cold weather, America women will succumb to nonconsensual sex.

Jeannie hosts a blog at www.jeannie-ology.com.