The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) has published a map of predicted temperatures the next few days that has one meteorologist saying he “cannot remember last time they have seen such a cold anomaly forecast across almost entire USA.”

As the great Anthony Watts notes:

The only state not showing a cold anomaly is Hawaii, the southernmost parts of Florida and Texas are also spared.

You see, when cows are responsible for constant warming, they obviously also cause cold anomalies and polar vortexes.  Sometimes the CO2 and methane just bury themselves in the bottom of the ocean for a while, such as from 1945 to 1976.  When it is colder, not warmer than normal despite rising CO2, industrialization, population growth and fossil fuel use must be hiding.

We can also see that hurricanes are more frequent and stronger than ever, except that no Category 3 hurricanes have hit the U.S. for eleven years.

I believe we all can understand how politicians around the world can manipulate the temperatures, sea levels, and storms from now until forever if we the people will just give them trillions each year.  We can trust them.  They can't get their economies to grow despite zero interest rates and massive government spending, but they can control temperatures within one degree one hundred years out.

Now everyone should just stop breathing, and we will stop that darn increase in the clear, innocuous CO2.  Oh, and we'd better spend more money than $6 billion a year on atmospheric computer models so we can find one that matches the real weather.