Germany: You need to learn how to spend your surplus

In 2015, the German government ran a surplus of more than twelve billion euros.  But if the German people thought this might be spent on bettering their lives, then they were deeply mistaken.  Angela Merkel decided that instead, she'd give the people's hard earned money to more than a million refugees, which wiped out the entire German budget surplus.

We in Britain may not know how to save as the Germans do, but we do have experience in spending (usually money we don't have).  And I can guarantee that if you gave us twelve billion euros to spend on your behalf, we would have found something better for you than one million angry, largely Muslim, ISIS-infested, terrorist-sympathizing young male sexual predators.  In fact, I hope the Germans kept their receipt, because I would seriously consider asking for my money back on that purchase.

Germany is a nation of savers.  Its savings rate is more than twice that of the U.K.'s and nearly double that of the U.S.  It sells more to the rest of the world than it buys to the tune of seven percent of its entire economy.  And alone among large, developed economies, it has been running a budget surplus of late.

Certainly, we English-speaking countries have some learning to do from them.  But boy, can we teach them a thing or two about spending.  That is something we can do.  Don't believe me?  Just look at our debt levels, and tell me we don't have lots of experience here.

What has this hard work, saving, and self-sacrifice bought for the German people?  Not much.  Besides wasting its entire budget surplus on flooding itself with refugees, Germany laid hundreds of billions of euros on the line when it bailed out Greece – an "investment" likely to turn sour at some point.

And what did Germany get in exchange?

The Greek people hate it now nearly as much as when Germany occupied the country!  For us to even get close to that level of hatred, we had to literally invade more than half the world.  And even then everyone loved us, really, deep down.

Once again, loan us the money, Germany, and not only will we definitely pay it back, but we'll give you something better than smoldering hot discontent and utter hatred in return.  Hell, we'd even say "thank you."

But it doesn't stop there.  Oh, no.

Germany has been a net contributor to the EU for a very long time, with net payments equaling 360 billion euros since it joined the EU.  And in return, the southern half of the EU hates it, and both the southern and northern parts moan that Germany is dominating the institution and the Continent.  People say it is achieving via the EU what it could not with its Panzers and Luftwaffe seventy years ago.

What a great use of resources!  Normally when I give people money, they like me a bit more.  They certainly don't like me less.  And most of the time, few then go on to accuse me of trying to seek dominion over the European Continent.  Truly, Germany, bravo.

And then there is Germany's attempt at being a "green superpower" (which is pathetically insecure German diplomat-speak for "how can we make the rest of the world like us even more?").  Average German energy prices for companies have increased by sixty percent over the last five years.  A government estimate predicts that by 2040, the cost of weening itself off nuclear energy and fossil fuels will be more than a trillion euros.

And, of course, it will probably fail.

The self-hating liberals who run Germany have squandered their people's hard work and savings on completely unnecessary, self-harming, and frivolous vanity projects.

And why?

Because the German elites just want Germany to be liked abroad so it can move on from its horrible past.  But they are doing it all the wrong way, and ruining their people's future in the process.  Germany's birth rate is 1.3 children per woman; for Germany, today's savings are tomorrow's pensions and imports from abroad to look after the present-day population who will have too few children upon which to rely.

But hey, I'm sure all those rape-fugees will be happy to lend a hand.  I'm sure they'll remember your generosity and repay you the favor in future.

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