I’m considered a loser by a man whose simplistic worldview is comprised solely of two types of people. If you’re not in the first category -- a fawning devotee, you’re surely in the second, a loser.

But what makes me a loser in his view is that I’ve peeked behind the curtain. And discovered that, behind the bluster and drama, is… nothing. There’s no “there” there. The Sturm und Drang that draws his Nuremberg, or Denver-sized throngs is a man without a plan. Without any concrete ideas. With nothing beyond sound bite populist rhetoric meant to inflame the passions of a nation already enraged from seven years of an anti-American, Marxist demagogue bent on destroying the greatest nation on earth.

I mean, I get the anger. I too am a member of the enraged.

But let’s look at our new populist demagogue, who arrogates as his birthright to replace our current, Marxist demagogue.

Professor Marvel in The Wizard of Oz could never return to a town in which he performed his con or they’d ride him out on a rail. You can only sell a scam once in a given locale. Once you do, the people learn you’re a con man and won’t be fooled again. That’s why Dorothy came upon the Professor’s carnival wagon deep in the woods. Far from any town. But surely headed toward his new set of victims.

Because, if a con man hawks his wares in, say Atlantic City for instance, selling his latest miracle cure to the people of that town, they eventually discover that it doesn’t work. And want to lynch the man. He must leave.

Want to know how people feel about a particular con man? Poll Atlantic City.

Or, New York City. How do they feel about him? Many garish, Manhattan skyscrapers have the same black-window/chrome-trim exterior, with the same, horsey sign at the top shouting the man’s name in huge, block letters. How do the people in New York perceive the man in question? How popular is he there? Let’s poll them.

Because to know a man selling a questionable product or service, ask the people who are already familiar. Where he’s run his game before. They know him far better than strangers in Dubuque or Des Moines, who are his new marks for the very reason that they don’t yet know his game. His con.

However, to warn you, the man I’m thinking of always shouts, “Loser!” at anyone who walks away from him, refusing to be scammed. Declining to buy his snake oil. That’s because he uses the hateful, dehumanizing taunts of the third-grade bully to ridicule anyone so “stupid” “fat” “terrible” “disgusting” “lightweight” “dumb” and “ugly” to turn down his miracle-cure-all-in-a-bottle. That’s all he knows to do -- call them names. Again, life is very simple, very black and white to him.

So, let’s expose him. Together, let’s look behind the curtain and see who he really is.

Because he lists no ingredients on the bottle. No actual plans or vision. No concrete strategies. No explication of logistics or tactics. And this constitutes an utter lack of transparency we won’t even accept from Democrats. And he claims to be a Republican. No right-thinking adult would buy a potion without knowing what’s inside the bottle.

And all he’s willing (or able?) to offer are some oleaginous promises that “We’ll do great” “We’ll be great” “We’ll win” “It’ll be great” “China will shake with fear”  “We’re going to nego…    negoshe…    negosheaaaa…    Oh, never mind. We’ll do great.”

And even when he makes a specific promise: “We’ll build a wall and make Mexico pay for it”, it’s so delusional that no one considers wasting the time to ask, “How?” Because no one actually believes his promise in the first place.

In fact, his few specific promises are so unhinged that Democrats -- who navigate life solely by their heart -- know instinctively that he’s lying to the Republican primary voters. (And who has more experience with lying than Democrats?) 

“We’re going to ban all Muslims from entering the country.” Indeed.

And many Democrats in open primary states will vote for him because they recognize a kindred spirit who would govern like the Democrat he’s always been, and whom they view clever enough to fool the yokel Republicans in places like Iowa and New Hampshire into voting for him and his Democrat, deal-making, winners-and-losers-deciding, backroom, Kelo-thieving principles. (“New York values.”)

This is because Republicans navigate life by their brain. But if that brain has not been exposed to the urban con games such as Three-card monte (New York City) or boardwalk “jam joints” (Atlantic City), they will not recognize the con and may vote for him out of their sense of “projection” -- ascribing to the con man the same honesty by which they themselves live. Because, if you live among honest people in flyover country, you tend to believe that others you meet will be honest too.

And therefore, you are more vulnerable to their cons.

So I look forward to the day that the thundering, mysterious demagogue behind the curtain shouts after all of us, “Loser!” I look forward to the day when we all see through his scam and, together, walk away from his carny wagon from which he tries to con us.

And I will wear my “loser” badge proudly.