When my mini-donkey, The Viscountess, brayed this morning, I wondered if she may not identify as a jenny, but rather as a jack. Does she perhaps feel herself to be in the wrong body? Did her lovely eyes betray a need for her own safe space? Owing to this uncertainty, I realized that she is owed the sensitivity of gender-neutral pronouns. But how to put his insight – this nexus, this confluent space of animal rights and non-privileged inclusiveness – into action through sensitive speech?

Thankfully, scholars at many of our prestigious universities have been applying their grey matter to this worrisome issue, devising new ways to prevent pronounal offense. (For example, here.)

Confusing times. Happily, this writer sees a bright spot. There are no federal regulations regarding this matter, so the pasture functions as an inclusive, non-gendered bathroom, which his equines may use without stepping on others’ hooves.

As far as I know.

* * *

To clarify, the following update of the preceding words is for sensitive readers who wish to begin their journey toward inclusive language: 

When nir mini-donkey, The Viscountess, brayed this morning, xe wondered if zie may not identify as a jenny, but rather as a jack. Does ve perhaps feel verself to be in the wrong body? Did nir lovely eyes betray a need for vis own safe space? Owing to this uncertainty, xe realized that ey is owed the sensitivity of gender-neutral pronouns. But how can they put vis insight – this nexus, this confluent space of animal rights and non-privileged inclusiveness – into action through sensitive speech?

Thankfully, scholars at many of hir prestigious universities have been applying xyr grey matter to this worrisome issue. Zie, perhaps xemself confused, are devising new ways to prevent pronounal offense to zem, ir, eir and ver. (For example, here.)

Confusing times. Happily, this writer sees a bright spot. There are no federal regulations regarding this matter, so the pasture functions as an inclusive, non-gendered bathroom, which nirs equines may use without stepping on the hooves of xyrs brethren and sistern.

As far as they knows.