Hillary has just appointed a former illegal alien as her outreach director to Hispanics.  Lorella Praeli came here illegally but got legal status through a Jebbish "act of love," marrying an American, but she still cannot vote (at least theoretically).

Given that, I was wondering if Hillary will also act to appoint an outreach director to American citizens.  American citizens are hugely influential, constituting 95% (or more!) of the vote in presidential elections.  They are often the deciding swing voters in states like Virginia, Florida, and Iowa.  Given that, don't you think Hillary should appoint someone to try to appeal to this group?

If Hillary had a director of outreach to Americans, he or she could address the following issues:

1) Securing the border.  While Hillary has never talked about securing the border, her outreach director could assure us that the subject is constantly on her mind.  Tell us that it is somewhere on her to-do list between filing her foundation's tax returns and signing up for a government email address.  While a physical border seems to be out of the question, perhaps Hillary might brainstorm with leading psychologists and create a psychological border that would keep illegals out.

2) Hillary's outreach director could reassure us that illegals aren't committing crimes.  They aren't shooting people randomly in San Francisco.  They aren't kidnapping Americans or killing them in drunk driving accidents.  Thousands of them are not in American jails for violent crimes.  Street gangs fastidiously refuse to accept illegal aliens into their membership.  It's simply not a factor.

3) We could also be reassured that illegals aren't getting taxpayer benefits.  Their children are not getting free schooling without paying income or property taxes.  They are not getting free health care.  When Hillary said she wanted them to get Obamacare subsidies, she was answering what she thought was a hypothetical or rhetorical question.  Illegal aliens are also not getting food stamps and housing subsidies.  If we could be guaranteed that illegals are not consuming one dollar of taxpayer money, I think that would go a long way to reassuring Americans.

4) An outreach director could also let us know that illegals aren't taking jobs from Americans.  The ones who are employed are taking only jobs that Americans won't do.  Like picking lettuce.  And grapes.  And working in hotels.  And driving cabs.  And construction jobs.  And retail positions.  And a few more fields Americans also don't want to work in.

5) And finally, we could be reassured that illegals are assimilating just fine and speaking English, and there are no zones in major cities where English is not spoken or understood.  Furthermore, we could be told that "press one for English" is a passing fad that will end by the time Mrs. Clinton is re-elected.

And finally, we could be assured that since Mrs. Clinton doesn't live within miles of an illegal alien, and we can be sure that she understands our concerns and wouldn't put a flood of illegals in our communities.

Exit question: I haven't heard Mrs. Clinton talking of appointing an outreach director to the Muslim or the gay community, either.  Do you think to save money she might appoint one person to both roles?

This article was written by Ed Straker, senior writer of NewsMachete.com, the conservative news site.