Have you heard Sam Smith's theme for the upcoming James Bond Spectre movie?  I highly encourage you not to listen to it.  Where James Bond themes once were bold and brash and orchestrally brassy, this theme is sad and moody, basically the story of a broken-hearted James Bond, with lyrics like:

I've spent a lifetime running

And I always get away

How do I live? How do I breathe?

When you're not here I'm suffocating

I want to feel love, run through my blood

Tell me is this where I give it all up?

A million shards of glass

That haunt me from my past

As the stars begin to gather

And the light begins to fade

When all hope begins to shatter

Yes, this is James Bond.  James Bond is now a sad, morose character.  If you actually listen to the song on Spotify, it is sung in a very depressing, self-pitying, whiny tone.

But thinking that reminded me of something: congressional Republicans!

Whenever you see Republicans speaking on camera, they always look moody, guilty, unhappy.  Just look how unhappy Marco Rubio is talking about John Boehner resigning.  Look how awkward and uncomfortable John Boehner is on Meet the Press.  Look at this video of Mitch McConnell.  He looks like a hostage at his own press conference.

Republicans always look so unhappy and uncomfortable.  Their angst is the angst of the new James Bond.  All they need is a "hurt feelings" theme song of their own, and they it be the perfect match.

Meanwhile, the Democrats never feel uncomfortable, never feel guilty or on the spot, and act as brazenly as old James Bond villains.

Exit question #1: What theme song would you give congressional Republicans?

Exit question #2: Which Bond villains do Hillary and Bernie Sanders remind you of?

This article was written by Ed Straker, senior writer of NewsMachete.com, the conservative news site.