A liberal is someone who isn't bothered by Planned Parenthood selling baby parts so long as they don't make a profit.

A liberal is someone who supports power to the people but cheers when five rich unelected white lawyers overturn the votes of 50,000,000 Americans.

A liberal is someone who believes that the First Amendment protects pornography and flag-burning but not Rush Limbaugh.

A liberal is someone who makes jokes about Trig Palin but attacks people for being "insensitive" about Bruce Jenner.

A liberal is someone who says disagreeing with Obama is racist but feels that calling Judge Clarence Thomas "a clown in blackface" is witty.

A liberal is someone who applauds his own charitable nature because he votes for candidates who will tax other people.

A liberal is someone who knows that all white people are racist but who has no idea why a guy named Mohammad would kill a bunch of unarmed Marines.

A liberal is someone who thinks putting a crucifix in urine is art but says showing a cartoon of Mohammad is "offensive."

A liberal is someone who thinks Republicans are monsters but who is sure that the theocratic leadership of Iran is just misunderstood.

A liberal is someone who calls President Bush a war criminal but insists that people who sneak into the U.S. to live off welfare are "undocumented."

A liberal is someone who says diversity is wonderful but calls all conservative blacks "Oreos."

A liberal is someone who thinks that liberal white people can self-identify as minorities and benefit from programs set aside to help minorities.

A liberal is someone who thinks #BlackLivesMatter only if the killer is white and isn't an abortionist.

A liberal is someone who knows that words mean what you want them to mean.

A liberal is someone who thanks God for Planned Parenthood when the leading cause of death for black Americans is abortion.

A liberal is someone who wants guns out of honest citizens' hands but also wants more lenient sentencing for criminals who use guns.

A liberal is someone who thinks poverty excuses crime even though most poor people are honest.

A liberal is someone who hates h8rs but who applauds an adult gay man bullying high school students about their faith.

A liberal is someone who says big businesses are uncaring but thinks the government is caring.

A liberal is someone who demands that the minimum wage be raised but argues that we need "undocumented" workers to keep the price of arugula down.

A liberal is someone who is an old-money WASP Harvard graduate who deplores "white privilege."

A liberal is someone who thinks voter fraud doesn't occur in Chicago and that "undocumented" immigrants should be allowed to vote.

A liberal is someone who thinks it doesn't matter if Hillary lied about Benghazi but condemns Reagan for supposedly lying about Iran Contra.

A liberal is someone who called John McCain a "war criminal" for his role in Vietnam and condemns Donald Trump for attacking McCain.

A liberal is someone who applauds Pope Francis for condemning "climate change" but doesn't know that Pope Francis said you can't be green and support abortion.

A liberal is someone who flies on private jets and demands we use only green energy.

You can read more of Tom’s rants at his blog, Conversations about the obvious, and feel free to follow him on Twitter.