Sorry, Mr. President, but as your wife might declare "Let's move!" You must leave the White House immediately because it will soon be razed. Don't protest. It's not really your house as you told that poor LGBT person. Besides, why would you want to live there anyway?

As you are no doubt aware, the White House was built in part by slave labor. Slaves worked on the White House grounds as carpenters and bricklayers and earned money doing so - but the money, of course, went to slavemasters. 

A great many racists have lived in the White House. Who can forget when Frederick Douglass was almost blocked when he attempted to see President Lincoln after the latter's second inaugural. Lincoln said "Here comes my friend Douglass." But who knows - perhaps the f word was Lincoln's sly use of the n word. Can't be too sure. 

In the current purge, this cannot stand. So you, Michelle, the girls, and Mrs. Robinson better start packing before the bulldozers arrive. Perhaps some of your African American servants can help box things up.

In case you are wondering, there will be no replacement White House at that location. It must reflect our positive, progressive trend of ignoring or abolishing all of the history that took place there. The grounds will become Caitlyn Jenner Park and feature statuary honoring St. Trayvon, St. Big Mike, Rev. Al Sharpton, and a sculpture that captures Reginald Denny being pulled out of his truck cab and beaten. The entrance to Caitlyn Jenner Park will feature a rainbow flag, a Coexist flag, the flag of Mexico, and the black flag of ISIS, which have been deemed by the arbiters of culture the only remaining flags appropriate to unfurl. Celebrate diversity!