Alert to American toy aficionados: if you have insatiable dependent children (i.e., Democrat voters) on your gift-giving list, perhaps your best buy is a great new toy from the people who brought you the Barack Obama action figure in 2008.  Naturally, this time it's the Hillary Clinton action figure.  (Read about it for yourself here.) 

And here she is, America's first plastic woman president.

That's right, everyone: the new, improved Hillary!  She doesn't screech, she doesn't cackle, she doesn't even have an e-mail account.  But don't get the wrong idea – this Hillary doll isn't all idealistic upgrades.  It has its share of remarkably lifelike features in common with its namesake.  To wit:

• Its image and persona were carefully manufactured by professionals.
• It exists only for the twin goals of making money and promoting Hillary Clinton's political career.
• It lacks a conscience.
• It melts down when heated.

If the action figure were shaped a bit more like the real Hillary, it would make a perfect novelty beer stein, which would perhaps be more suited to its model than any instantiation associated with the word "action."  Can anyone find an action (apart from lying) in which Hillary has ever actually engaged?  I mean one that was not rejected by superiors (such as her unethical efforts during Watergate), rejected by legislators (health care reform), or rejected by the gods of truth (escaping sniper fire).

I have a soft spot for Hillary myself, as she afforded me my one and (as far as I know) only link on the RealClearPolitics website, when I wrote about her Benghazi disappearing act.  Oh, wait – there's some genuine Hillary action!  Making a beeline for an undisclosed location when the going gets tough.

Hillary Clinton is, in many ways, the left's ideal presidential candidate: an ideologue who has nevertheless cultivated friendships on "both sides of the aisle"; an unaccomplished coattail hanger who is nevertheless reputed to be an independent woman of substance; and an unscrupulous climber who has managed to acquire a popular image as the put-upon girl who made good.  Unfortunately, she also comes with more baggage than you could fit into an Antonov An-225 Mriya cargo plane – another Marxist-designed craft that has since been remarketed for mainstream commercial use.

The solution to this dilemma: the Hillary "Ready-for-Action Figure."  If the past seven years have taught America's Communist Party – oops, I mean the Democratic Party – anything, they have taught the benefits of cutting out the middleman.  Skip Hillary, and vote for the plastic idol instead.  This strategy worked wonders the first time around.

Hat tip: William Meisler