Scientists say that evolution normally takes tens of thousands of years to occur.  But in a remarkable study, scientists have found that the species that evolves the fastest is the mainstream Republican.  What else to explain the sudden reluctance of most Republicans to take on the stealth legalization of marijuana?  Lighting up the debate on pot decriminalization is none other than Rand Paul.

One Republican outspoken on marijuana is Paul, who has made major overtures to young people and minorities.

What in the world does pot legalization have to do with young people and minorities?  Oh, I get it – the white liberals at Politico must be saying that black and Hispanic people like to smoke marijuana, and so Rand Paul doesn't want to offend them.  Thanks for that racist sideswipe, Politico!

But even if it were true that Paul is pro-marijuana in order to appeal to young people and minorities, is that the best he can do?  By offering them illegal drugs?  Instead of marijuana, how about offering them liberty, freedom, the rule of law, the free market, and protection of private property?

The Kentucky senator, a favorite in the GOP’s libertarian wing, is the highest-profile Republican to support federal decriminalization and the party’s only potential presidential candidate to do so.

Rand Paul is a favorite of the GOP libertarian wing?  I didn't know there was a GOP libertarian wing.  Who else is a member?  Could this be a reference to Rand Paul's good friend Mitch McConnell?  Libertarians believe in not interfering with the actions of others.  Mitch McConnell certainly doesn't believe in interfering with President Obama's actions, when it comes to executive actions and the budget.  Perhaps Senator McConnell is a libertarian, too.

Paul has sponsored legislation aimed at preventing the federal government from cracking down on the medical marijuana industry in states where it’s legal. He’s teamed up with Sen. Cory Booker (D-N.J.) to introduce sentencing reform legislation.

So Rand Paul doesn't want to legalize marijuana; he wants only to decriminalize it.  What's the effective difference?

He recently co-sponsored a Senate bill to legalize industrial hemp — a less-potent sibling of marijuana.

Rand Paul is the leader in the civil rights struggle...for hemp!  His passion for rope-making material knows no bounds.

“I don’t want to put our kids in prison for it,” Paul said of marijuana in December. “So if your kid was caught selling marijuana or growing enough that it’s a felony conviction, they could be in jail for an extended period of time. They also lose their ability to be employable. So I want to change all of that.”

Read the above paragraph again.  He's talking about not just drug users, but drug dealers.  He calls them "kids," as if all drug dealers look like the 12-year-old photo of Trayvon Martin.  They're not.  What Rand Paul is saying is that he doesn't want drug dealers of marijuana – of any age – to go to jail.  I wonder how Rand Paul would like it if drug dealers hung out outside his children's schools.

Paul has been so outspoken that at least one GOP strategist believed he supports legalization. But he doesn’t

He's against marijuana.  He just doesn't want anyone arrested for smoking it, or dealing it, or selling it to schoolchildren.

When asked about Paul’s efforts on marijuana, spokesman Brian Darling immediately noted: “He’s been pretty clear that marijuana is bad for people, but they should not have their lives ruined for smoking it.”

Smoking marijuana does ruin lives.  You can't study or work when you're on drugs.  It ruins common sense and is a classic gateway drug to cocaine and heroin.  (By the way, if I ever become a politician, I want my spokesman to be named "Darling," "Handsome," or "Suave.")

Strategists argue that Paul’s reluctance to embrace full legalization and insistence on warning about the dangers of marijuana use indicate he doesn’t want to anger a key segment of the GOP base.

“Part of the reason why Paul finds himself in this conundrum is the amount of older voters we have in the Republican primary,” said GOP strategist Ford O’Connell, noting that Paul’s libertarian-leaning foreign policy stances already have Republican voters over 50 eying him warily.

It's a relief to know that his reluctance to endorse legalization is not based on principle!  It's because old people don't like marijuana, and old people vote!

Although most Americans support marijuana legalization, just 39 percent of Republicans and 31 percent of conservatives do, according to a recent Gallup poll.

Yes! According to liberal media polls, most people support legalizing pot.  According to liberal media polls, most people also believe in global warming, support amnesty, and pile on to whatever other liberal causes you can think of.  I'm surprised that the liberal media poll had only 39% of Republicans supporting pot; I would have thought the figure was at least 85% or 90%.  Perhaps they should go into a room with a big mirror and ask their representative sample their leading polling questions once again.

Rand Paul isn't the only druggiepublican.  Other Republicans are also aiding this stealth effort.  Rick Perry of Texas came out against legalization of pot but acted to decriminalize it as well.  I think he figured that if enough young people were on drugs, they wouldn't notice all the illegal aliens getting taxpayer-subsidized scholarships to state universities, one of Perry's hallmark programs.

Here's an original thought: if you think something is bad for people, like marijuana, don't decriminalize it.  That will only incentivize people, including the kids Rand cares so much about, to use it.

Pedro Gonzales is editor of Newsmachete.com, the conservative news site.  Feedback is welcome.