We’ve seen entirely too much water waste these past few weeks, especially coming from the epidemic of the Ice-Bucket Challenge: Whereby upright citizens are ‘treated’ to the chilling likes of a gallon bucket of the cold cubic stuff in pursuit of some charity goal or end. For those avid for sports and charity giving, we know that the recent spate of cold-pour began, the myth goes, with raising bucks for a footballer who was diagnosed with ALS, amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, in 2011. Pete Frates. A former Boston College baseball player, Frates was diagnosed with ALS three years ago. He allegedly challenged some pals and celebs (including NFL quarterbacks Tom Brady and Matt Ryan) to take the ice bucket challenge to “strike out ALS.”

The myth busters date the trendy trope to much further back, noting that  cold water has been a staple of charity jousts for many decades. We have ourselves indulged in the Polar Bear plunge featured in Vancouver, Coney Island and myriad other Brrr-weather loci in the iciest days of midwinter. The new thing is the addition of the bucket. No big chill to learn that.

What is more dampening than this silly ice-bucket challenge business is the alternative we have heard about: The chocolate-bucket challenge. Gleep.

One can dry off and welcome the residual cool at the terminus of an ice spill over one's head. But chocolate? One can't recover--one's clothing is ruined. One's hair will be matted and fly-sprung. One’s facial will be compromised. Artificial suntan will be leached off. One's shoes will forever squeak with the gunky stuff. More yucky by far than a quick dousing with the clinky frozen-water tray.

So the chocolate challenge is a whole lot less accepted, if a whole lot more lickable.