No decadent western toys for those who proclaim the superiority of Koranic purity! Now there’s a fundamentalist Islamic movement I can get behind. Oliver Duggan reports in the UK Telegraph:

The emergence of the highly-secretive Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi from the shadow of Iraq’s sectarian crisis put a face to the threat of a global Islamic caliphate.

The Islamic State leader spoke publicly for the first time at Mosul’s Great Mosque of Friday, an intervention in which he called on the world’s Muslims to “obey” him as “the leader who presides over you”.

But the self-anointed ‘Caliph Ibrahim’ also brought a touch of branding into the bloody conflict, with many who have seen the 20-minute sermon commenting on his bulky and expensive wristwatch.

Appearing in black robes and a turban in an attempt to evoke memories of the last Caliphs to rule from Baghdad, the jihadist broke with the tradition to sport an ill-fitting chrome watch with a dark face.

Since Western Learning is forbidden (Boko Haram, y’all), it is incumbent on jihadis to avoid using cell phones, airplanes, explosives, and for goodness sake, all those decadent Western medical techniques. I encourage islamioc fundamentalists to point out that life as lived by Mohammed was the optimal human condition, so forget about air conditioning, cars, television, and all those other unpure things. Go live your lives according to the way Mohammed did his.

And let the rests of us observe how wonderful that is. Maybe some will eb attracted to it. Meanwhile, the rest of us can wear our watches, use cell phones, travel on jets, drive cars, and be cool in the summer.