My last-ditch effort to sign up for ObamaCare became a scene out of an Abbott and Costello skit.

As a self-employed person, I was one of the millions who received a cancelation notification from my insurer last year.  Come October I tried my hand at signing up but was met with many of the trials and tribulations that tens of millions were experiencing at the time.  My family and I had a low-premium “Stay Fit” policy and never had more than a couple thousand dollars of health care expenses per year, so I made the decision to forgo health insurance.  At least for the first year.

Curious about reports of people “struggling” with the Healthcare.gov website yesterday, I thought I would give it another try.

2:35 – Met with this page:

2:40 – Decided to take them up on the “Can’t wait” option.  Used another computer so that I wouldn’t fall out of the queue.

2:56 – I’m in on my original webpage.  Wait.  It’s asking me for my state again.  I already did that.  Oh, well; here we go.

3:00 – Set up my account.  Waiting for an e-mail to continue.  Still waiting for that earlier e-mail on my other computer.

3:03 – Email’s here.  Clicked on the link.  Oh, no!  “This page can’t be displayed.”  Second try – success!  Well, actually, the page says “Success!”  I was a little less enthusiastic, but I think the real success is that now Obama can claim another sign-up.

3:07 – The message said to use my e-mail as my username and the password I set up, but I’m getting an error message saying, “The information you entered isn’t valid.”  Clicked on “forgot your user name?”  Waiting for e-mail.

3:15 – Clicked Send/Receive for the hundredth time.  Still no e-mail with my username info.

3:23 – Decided to try the email link again but got an “Oops!” message.  My account has been verified.  I just can’t log in on this page.  Clicked the link on the page, which kicked me back to the very beginning.  Where I got to see this again:

It’s beginning to feel like an Abbott and Costello skit –

“…Third Base”...

3:46 – I received my response to the earlier e-mail promising to notify me when my place in line comes up.  Here’s the e-mail (boldface is mine):

HealthCare.gov is ready for you to finish enrolling in health coverage. If you are trying to enroll by tonight's deadline for coverage in 2014, keep trying. If you are in the process of enrolling and can't finish because our systems are busy or not available, don't worry! We'll continue to hold your place in line and still will help you get the coverage you need.

Please click the following link in the next 24 hours to go straight to HealthCare.gov and finish your online enrollment.

Here's your ticket to health coverage.  [Humming Willie Wonka “I’ve got a golden ticket”]

Remember, this link expires in 24 hours. If the above link doesn't work, copy and paste this URL into your web browser's address bar:

https://www.healthcare.gov/marketplace/global/en_US/login?utm_...._ campaign=hcgov_queue&utm_content=3_31_14

4:00 – I decided to click on the link, and boy, was I excited to get right into the login page.  The same one I’m still waiting for on the other browser page.  I put in my username and password (even though I’m still waiting for my e-mail verifying my username), and it worked!  Or did it?  Nope...back to:

“…Third Base”...

4:04 – Finally back in on the other browser page.  Decide to retry my username and password that didn’t work previously.  Still waiting for that e-mail.  New message:

“This account is locked or disabled.”

Okay, so the good news is that it is recognizing my account and password.  The bad news is that I can’t use it.

“…Third Base.”

I’m done.  Obama beat me into submission again.  I’m certain that given my efforts today, Sebelius can report six million and two sign-ups.

Based on the email above, I am also sure that should I decide to sign up late, the option is available to me due to the electronic trail I’ve left all over Healthcare.gov.  If I didn’t know better, I would say that this is all by design.  HHS rigged the website in order to justify Obama’s most resent deadline extension.

“Third Base.”