It's official: political correctness has achieved levels of self-parody. This becomes clear as the "micro-aggression" reaches the common parlance of the eternally offended. The NEA (the National Educators Association) has a column in their winter 2014 issue of NEA Today celebrating "Modern Families," an allusion to the unfunny show of the same name. After glorifying mom-breadwinners, and "PTA Dads," the column discusses even more aberrational familial arrangements, or in NEA-speak, "family units."

Heather Kawamoto recalls the shabby treatment she received 13 years ago when she and her wife -- and her wife's ex-husband -- showed up to a parent-teacher conference. The teachers were "blatantly shocked" when Heather explained how she fit in the picture. How can schools create a more "inclusive" environment to avoid such hurt feelings? Recommends NEA Today columnist Brenda Alvarez:

"School forms can be updated to help create a more welcoming school environment. Instead of the father-mother language, forms can indicate parent or guardian."

Mrs. Kawamoto insists that schools send her the message, "My family is not abnormal." She further scolds those who do not react to her family situation in a way she prescribes:

"It's such a heterosexist viewpoint where every child has a mother and father... and this is the only option... All these messages one piece of paper gives a family before they even walk into a school... it's a micro-aggression of an assumption to what a student's family makeup should be." Alvarez recommends a "gender neutral tone" in all school paperwork.

Would "it" do? "Tell your parent or guardian it needs to sign this permission slip." After all, "they" is plural, and one wouldn't want to alienate single-parent households. We must all tread carefully since we now run the risk of committing micro-aggressions simply by making an assumption. Indeed, one must assume nothing these days, lest they portray a "heterosexist viewpoint."

Alvarez concludes: "Whether its mom and dad, mom only, mainly dad, mom and mom, or dad and dad, most parents want to be involved and engaged in their child's school." Perhaps we should adopt the phrase from the 1993 Dan Aykroyd comedy Coneheads: "Parental Units."

The good news for cultural Marxists is that the Kawamoto household received a fawning reception at a more recent parent-teacher conference; presumably this teacher was more thoroughly indoctrinated in political correctness. Mrs. Kawamoto and her wife were spared the indignity of having to "explain our roles." So perhaps lame shows such as "Modern Family" are working -- not in terms of artistic achievement, to be sure, but as propaganda.

I am content to quote myself in regards to what may be called a "war on normal":

"A world without normal is a world without judgment; hence it is safe for everyone. But if we had a more sane culture, our foundational institutions would not be made to reinvent themselves just to satisfy someone's sense of belonging."

Are you listening, NEA?

Contact Malcolm Unwell