We took our 1994, paid for, still running, Toyota Corolla in for an oil change. That's when the nightmare began.

After we checked in at the service desk, the service rep asked us to step into a small room.

"We are confiscating your car," she said. "We have wonderful new cars with many features you do not currently have. You have roll up windows. You need electric windows. You are still using a key to open and lock your car. You need a keyless system."

We said thank you, but we want to keep the old car. All we want is an oil change.

"You don't understand. Under the new law, your car is substandard. It was a predatory car, forced on you by a car dealer. It must be replaced with one that has better features. My goodness, you don't even have a navigation system."

"But, we don't want a new car," we sputtered. "The one we have is paid for."

"Oh, don't worry about that. We have excellent financing and you may qualify for a subsidy or a tax credit. Your monthly payments will be only $750, unless of course you want undercoating, which will be mandatory next year so you might as well get that now."

Apparently we were not the only ones caught up in this nightmare. Dismayed drivers began appearing on sporadic news reports from around the country. "I liked my old Chevy," said one driver, "but they took it away."

In an editorial, a national newspaper defended the new law. "These drivers will get a better quality car than they currently have," wrote the opinion page editor. "Their previous cars were shoddy and although some people might pay more, they and many others will get more. None of this is an outrage. It is a compassionate policy."

Suddenly we woke up. Only a bad dream. Thank goodness.

Robert Potts