"I will begin my presidency with a jobs tour. President Obama began with an apology tour. America, he said, had dictated to other nations. No Mr. President, America has freed other nations from dictators." -- Mitt Romney

Although he vehemently denied making the infamous "Apology Tour," nothing escapes the eidetic memory of the internet (with thanks to freebeacon.com). In case you weren't paying attention in 2009, or perhaps had just been revived from an extended suicide coma after our messiah took office following his towering pledge to reforge the collective soul of mankind in addition to stopping the rise of the Earth's mighty oceans, let our Manchurian Candidate's own words refresh your addled cerebrums:

1. April 3, 2009: Strasbourg, France

"In America, there's a failure to appreciate Europe's leading role in the world. Instead of celebrating your dynamic union and seeking to partner with you to meet common challenges, there have been times where America has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive."

2. April 6, 2009: Ankara, Turkey to the Turkish Parliament

"Another issue that confronts all democracies as they move to the future is how we deal with the past. The United States is still working through some of our own darker periods in our history."

3. April 17, 2009, Port of Spain, Trinidad and Tobago, at the Summit of the Americas

"While the United States has done much to promote peace and prosperity in the hemisphere, we have at times been disengaged, and at times we sought to dictate our terms."

4. April 20, 2009: CIA headquarters, Langley, Va.

"Don't be discouraged that we have to acknowledge potentially we've made some mistakes. That's how we learn."

5. May 21, 2009: National Archives in Washington D.C.

"Unfortunately, faced with an uncertain threat, our government made a series of hasty decisions. ... I also believe that all too often our government made decisions based on fear rather than foresight; that all too often our government trimmed facts and evidence to fit ideological predispositions. Instead of strategically applying our power and our principles, too often we set those principles aside as luxuries that we could no longer afford. And during this season of fear, too many of us -- Democrats and Republicans, politicians, journalists, and citizens -- fell silent. In other words, we went off course."

Mr. President: We are well aware that within the nocturnal worldview of the progressive cancer which has metastasized your grim outlook on our land, you indeed despise the image of American Exceptionalism. There is no need to dissemble any further, since we have seen your dour countenance when the pledge and the national anthem are played, just as your inelegant mistress has admitted that she was never proud of her Americanism as such. We saw you reading Fareed Zacharia's The Post American World. We have watched as you have adulterated the American flag to become a degenerate symbol of your cheap Hope and Change campaign. We grew nauseated as you dishonored the bust of Winston Churchill. We have watched as you have snuggled up to the vermin of Radical Islam and snubbed our greatest ally in the Middle East. For four grueling gut-wrenching years we have peacefully gritted our teeth while you have systematically kindled a conflagration between the productive and parasitic nodes of American society in an attempt to jumpstart Marxian class warfare -- all the while never endeavoring to pass a domestic budget and using your own crooked incarnation of tyrannical executive privilege to ram down the throats of a population laws that we would have never entertained in 100 years.

But listen well: your days as president are numbered and the writing is graven into the faux-marble columns of your grandiose narcissism. Your end run around justice to achieve Socialism by Proxy is finished, and your executive orders can be erased just as easily as you signed them into being with your effeminate hand. The day approaches and the long dark nightmare of indignation is fleeting into memory, even as I write. We will excise you and your cabal as a malignant cancer from the body politic. If you could only learn the Song of Freedom that animated the Holy Fathers of America: the refrain that so many had died for and the world tearfully applauded, you would know well what "derision" we now feel for you.