Our perfect evening together couldn't have been a success without our President.

"If you've been successful, you didn't get there on your own. You didn't get there on your own...If you were successful, somebody along the line gave you some help... Somebody helped to create this unbelievable American system that we have that allowed you to thrive".

Our evening of passion began, thanks to Obama's investment, with a trip on modern and well maintained roads and bridges. We drove in our "cash for clunkers" subsidized hybrid car to a cozy restaurant where my wife and I were to rendezvous for a romantic meal, confident in the cleanliness of the establishment due to inspectors from the Health Department.

The EPA set the stage for the evening as we gazed out the window at the pollution free sunset and pristine lake.

The steak, chicken and vegetable de jour were not just delicious and prepared to perfection by the State certified chef, but we were thrilled to know that the USDA had guaranteed the freshness and safety. The music was romantic and appropriate to set the mood thanks to Obama's FCC granting licenses and making certain that the language and content are suitable.

The meal was complimented by a spectacular and yet unassuming red wine from the Bordeaux region in France. Of course my companion was impressed by the no-expense-is-too-great-for-you cost of the French wine thanks to the local producer protecting Federal tariffs.

We toasted Mr. Obama with our State Liquor Control Commission provided aperitif, grateful to him for the safety of the eggs used in our crème brule which we spoon fed lovingly to each other. We ordered only one to share. We didn't want to overdo the sugar and cholesterol after watching workout videos with our First Lady earlier in the day. But don't worry Michelle, we were going to work off the empty calories soon enough.

We drove home anxious for the carnal festivities soon to come and feeling comforted knowing that the Obama-stimulated police force was there to protect our suburban middle-class FHA approved love nest.

The lights came on as we crossed the threshold into our boudoir grateful to the electric infrastructure provided by government subsidies and the long-term, low interest rate loans provided to the monopolistic, highly regulated public utility's nuclear power plant. We, of course, lowered the lights and lit some candles not worried about the potential dangers of a fire thanks to the competence of the local fire department.

We'd rather not say whether my wife was benefiting from contraception provided free by our health insurance plan courtesy of Kathleen Sebelius, but let's just say if we go to confession on Sunday that won't be one of the sins we'll both be confessing.

While the success of the rest of the evenings activity had little to do with Barack, Michelle, Kathleen or the brave members of the police or firefighters unions, we certainly have to give them all a great deal of credit for the climactic end to our romantic interlude.

As President Obama would agree, we could never have made it happen on our own.